Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Best "Come and Get It" of 2K7

After a rousing boxing match, once I've fully dicked around long enough, there's nothing I enjoy more than strapping on a fishnet body suit, layer a black speedo over a pink one, and just bust out my best come and get it pose while maxin & relaxin by my hotel spa-tub. There are, however, a couple other things that boxing champ Oscar De La Hoya does just as good, if not better, than his "come and get it":

(and a few more here)

I'd like to take this opportunity to do something I don't do nearly enough. I'd like to give a great big THANK YOU to all the gays of the world. I love you all, for the many, many great things that you do. But right now, I love you most of all for not only getting closeted celebrities to dress in such a get up, but to fucking take pictures of it and post it on the interwebs. Gays, is there anything you CAN'T do? Other than get married? Zing. Just kidding gays. Y'all are the tops.

p.s. Top Model starts tonight, bitches.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


As I am young(ish) and therefore impressionable, I am usually quick to follow the lead of my favorite celebrities.

When Ashton Kutcher started gallivanting round Hollywood looking like an asshole with his shaggy hair and trucker cap, I hopped on that train.
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LindseyMischaNicoleKeiraMaryKate decided that it was hip to be all hip bones and impossibly thin and I stopped eating for weeks. I lost a few teeth in the process, but I have never felt more popular.
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This year I even spent a lil time in the pokey and did 63 hour stint in rehab due to exhaustion caused by a raging case of alchoholism. Amy Winehouse, Isaiah Washington, Kramer, Mel Gibson, Miss USA, Linds, Brit, you all know what I'm talking about, right?

This newest trend however, is not one I can fully get behind. Maybe it's because I'm a little old fashioned, or maybe just cause I think there are enough bastards in the world, but making illegitimate babies is all the rage in 2007.

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Halle is knocked up by some model.

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Borat's bitch is pregnant!

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Everybody knows what this ho has been up to.

Ladies, I hope your baby daddies will continue to look at you the same way and not like the tainted fruit that you are. Kids, you won't feel like mistakes forever. Trust me.

Did I forget anyone? That's what the comments are for.

Baby Mamas, this one is for you.