Friday, March 2, 2007

Andrew WK on Life



"Celebrities" who are from Detroit generally depress the hell out of me. Madonna is the only good thing that has ever come out of here, and even that wavers from time to time. However, I may try to use the fact that we are both from Detroit to convince Andrew WK to do a regular feature on the blog. It would be called "Andrew WK on ________" and he could ramble on and on about anything we want! I feel like with enough K, he could probably be pursuaded. Above, you will find the first "installment" of this new "feature", provided by my favorite thing to read on Friday, Gawker's Blue States Lose. I think I may have confused some of you the last time I talked about this, but if you want to give it another go - click on the link. It is a gem, this week. And if any of you know Andrew WK, tell him we are interested!

I love Kelis



Kelis was arrested, and this is her mug shot. I truly love this bitch. She was allegedly screaming racial obscenities at two female police officers who were posing as prostitutes and was charged with two misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and for resisting arrest. I can't wait to see how this one develops.

Prince vs Kelis mashup, anyone?



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Angelina Jolie: Ho or Not-A-Ho



Alright, since some of you jerks are too scared to call a baby an A-Hole we're tackling a big one today. Once and for all, we will decide, if Angelina Jolie is a HO or NOT-A-HO. This has been a big debate in the gossip realm for a long time, and I'm tired of it. So we're gonna settle this shit. Let's go!

Angelina Jolie is not adopting me. HO

Angelina does a lot of humanitarian work, and for the most part, keeps it low key unlike some other douchebag who jumps on any hip celebrity cause faster than you can say "I hate you, Bono". NOT-A-HO

Angelina, you need to eat something, right now. I thought you were better than that! HO

Angelina didn't "steal" anyone's husband. Brad Pitt is a grown man who chose to leave his wife on his own. And if my boyfriend left me for Angelina, I would understand. It's fucking Angelina Jolie, how can you compete with that? NOT-A-HO

Is Angelina on the H-train? An H-train conducted by Marilyn Manson? I don't believe it for a second. But the fact that the rumor exists is trashy enough for me to call her a (all together now): HO

Angelina is hot. NOT-A-HO

I like Angelina Jolie. I'm going with Not-a-Ho! However, I have been wrong in the past (But not about Suri Cruise, that baby is an A-Hole! You'll agree with me eventually, wait 15-18 years). Chime in, in the comments! But I swear to Christ, if I hear anything about "poor Jennifer Aniston" I may snap. This is about Angelina, not some chinny ex-friend. Let's get to work!

And that makes number 4 for Angie Jo

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Our beloved Angie Jo is adopting another baby
. She spun the globe and it landed in the southeast Asian country known as Vietnam. To even out her brood she's getting another boy. Now I feel like she is discriminating against the Asian girls. Boys are well cherished in the Asian countries, she is only further promoting female Asian genocide, don't you think? Working my connections at the Vietnamese Embassy, I got this letter from the adopted boy...

Dear Mami,

I love you for saving me. I will no longer eat cockroaches and only wear LV. I sleep on only 1000 count egyptian cotton and my friends will be Kingston and Jayden James. Please make that happen.

Love Always, Xoddam

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Rosie's a Butch-Dyke-Bully

For some reason, people still watch and care about ABC's "The View".
Ever since the corpse that was Barbara Walters

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invited her pal Rosie O'Donnell on board, headlines have been streaming. Fresh off her feud with the Donald, Rosie forgot to take her anti-butch-dyke-bully pills again (Rosie's heterophobia seems to be getting worse by the day) and made the newest member of the talk show, Elisabeth Hasselback, cry and might result in her leaving the show. Apparently not even being on "Survivor" was enough preparation for this

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After having a disagreement about the Patriot Act, Rosie made it clear of her distaste with Hasselback's very conservative stance and support of the Bush Administration. She does however, believe that having a stupid Bush supporter to argue with is kinda fun and satisfying, almost in that lesbotic sort of way. But have no fear "View" fans, if Elisabeth does decide to leave, they have done all but sign a contract with her replacement

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Another Perk of Dating Puffy!



If you are lucky enough to date or bone Puffy, you are also lucky enough to shave his balls for him. You are also lucky enough to bone for 28 hours. But let's cover one thing at a time...first, the ball shaving. In an article found here, Puffy talks about how he likes his ladies to help him make his balls as smooth as eggs. A direct quote from Puffy would sound something like this:

"I shave down there. I do it myself - or I have my young lady help me, because I don't want to get no nicks."


Let's hope that the "young lady" that he is referring to is Kim Porter, and not one of his twin baby girls. I would assume that if you can get over the whole "infantile lack of control" thing, a baby would be really good at ball shaving. They certainly have the small hands needed for the precision that Puffy is looking for. Especially if Puffy would get over the smoothness and go for a more "artsy" take on his pubes. I would like it if Puffy would shave a "P" into his nutsack hair, but that's just my personal preference.

I would not like, however, to have sex for 28 hours. I'm sorry, I wouldn't. That is a LONG time...more than a day of straight up boning.

Diddy, 37, recently boasted his sex sessions with Kim have lasted up to 28 hours, and claimed they have experimented with tantric sex.


If there is such a thing as too much boning, this is definitely it. I enjoy boning during the day, (I mean...WHO DOESN'T? AM I RIGHT? HIGH-FIVES FOR SEX!) but I also like to do other things, like eat and sleep, to name a few. I certainly wouldn't want Puffy's bald balls slapping me for 28 hours straight. Ouch.


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Ska-Hippie Alert!



If you are new to this site, you may not know what a ska-hippie is. Please take the time to educate yourself. Got it? Well, look what I found at the Zodiac premiere. Robert Downey, Jr. and his son Indio (Downey, Jr?) lookin' like a couple of Ska-Hippies in a pod. I do not appreciate Robert Downey bestowing his ska-hippie tendencies on his son. First, by naming him Indio and now by allowing him to wear such a ska-hippie get-up to a movie premiere. Both of these ska-hippies need to go play hackey or listen to the Spin Doctors or something. Are you catching on? Ska-Hippie isn't just a word I throw around for fun. It is a very specific type of person...watch out for them! And email any pictures of ska-hippies to us at twogirlsplusgay@gmail.com

What else do you expect from Bobby Brown?



In case you aren't following this (because you are racist and don't care about black celebrities) let me bring you up to speed. Bobby Brown spent 3 days in jail this week for failing to pay child support and his bail was set at $19K. Bobby Brown doesn't have $19,000! Bobby Brown probably doesn't have $19. A radio station, Hot 99.5 in DC, agreed to pay his bail in exchange for him appearing on their morning show for one week. Bobby said "Yeah...uh-huh...sure". They got him out, and then Bobby bailed on them! He's not doing that show! Are you crazy? Who the hell would give Bobby Brown anything, much less believe anything that fucker says? That's like giving a bottle of Whiskey to a homeless man to "hold on to" for you while you run into the store real quick. That homeless man will not be there when you come out, and Bobby Brown isn't going to be on your radio show no matter what he said. I don't know how a crack head can convince you of anything, Hot 99.5, but I surely do not feel bad for you at all. Way to go, Bobby!

It's MUTHAFUCKIN SHILOH!



My sweet, dear lord. I want to take a large gun and kill them both. Or maybe do a flying kung-fu kick to both of their faces. SO.DAMN.CUTE. I can't even post all of the pictures here. The cuteness of them forces my hands and mind not to function. I don't even think that sentence made any sense! BLAARHGH! That is the only word I can muster to describe the adorableness of these two. Go HERE to see more of this undeniably cute father and daughter. Really, go there. NOW.

EDIT: Link changed to a better, high quality, large array of pictures. Check it all over again!

'Ambition' makes you look pretty ... smart?

Just days after her sister Ashlee publicly spouted her thoughts on being prettier and physically more proportionate, Jessica is doing more to prove while Ashlee may have the looks, she's got the brains. After weeks of having difficulty with her lines in her upcoming movie Blonde Ambition the singer turned amazing actress, finally nailed this feat.

The hardest thing about 'Blonde Ambition' was that I'm carrying the weight of the movie on my shoulders. I was in every shot, pretty much, and it was very time-consuming. You don't really understand until a week after you're done shooting, and you're like, 'Oh my gosh, I memorized all those lines! Wow!'

Ironically enough, the one time ditzy idiot who has been sporting a darker do as of late, accomplished this historic intelligence achievement all while donning a blond wig and looking like a Juliette Lewis in The Other Sister.
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Her new found smarts didn't stop there though, as it appears she has finally learned to walk while simultaneously tapping herself on the head... not easy.. try it yourself and see. TAKE THAT ASHLEE!
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Creepy Photo of the Day: Jude Law

Jude Law got some medal from some French Guy for his "contributions to film", and he looked incredibly creepy while doing it:



The world is mine! And this shiny metal proves it! Thank you, French Guy!!


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LET'S GET THIS FUNERAL STARTED, Y'ALLS!



AAAAWWWWW SHIT! This funeral is gonna be off the chain! The body is there, the booze is flowing, some country star is singing, and I'm sure DJ AM will show up at some time, this funeral is gonna totally kick the shit out of your ass, and Tori Spelling is gonna have to plunge it. Two Girls and a Gay is your official "Anna Nicole's Rockin' Funeral Pre-Party" spot! Let's get some jams going:



Yeah. Now that we have the gayest song in existence playing (possibly being lip synced by Bobby Trendy?) - we can really get this funeral started right! Weren't invited to the real bash? You can watch it LIVE right here! I hope they got Ryan Seacrest to host this funeral, he hosts pretty much everything else in the world. They should also dig up her son and prop him up next to the casket while they play "One Last Cry" by Brian McKnight. But enough talk about the funeral - this is the PRE-PARTY! We got Anna's favorite person in the whole world (next to herself) Stripes McGee & his yellow pet poodle providing entertainment, and a whole lotta drugs - IT'S TIME TO PARTY, ANNA STYLE!




So bust out your methadone and do whatever it is that you do with it one last time for Anna! Trust me, she would have wanted it this way.

Tori Spelling: Poo Fanatic



Does one become a "poo fanatic" at birth, or it is a type of fandom that is acquired over time, or in Tori Spelling's case, when you are 8 1/2 months preggo and ready to explode? Tori Spelling has a Myspace blog, in which, she speaks of her literal love for shit. Ever wondered what a day in the life of Tori Spelling might be like? Apparently, a typical day includes plunging a toilet (OMG! STARS! THEY'RE JUST LIKE US!):

You know what isn't fun? Plunging a toilet...this was a two ton turd that seemed invincible. It coiled in ways I've never seen a snake do before.Good for him for having such a well balanced fiber filled diet but this brown beast scared the crap out of me! And, I'm NOT shit shy. In fact, I'm a Poo Fanatic and a fart joke fan to the extreme.


That is just one small snippet from a long, long entry about plunging this giant turd out of her toilet. This riveting tale just goes on and on. Head on over to her blog and read all about it. Better idea: Stay here and read about a different kind of celebrity shit all day long!

Thursday, March 1, 2007

I wish Tarantino wasn't such a douche



Above you will find the trailer for Grindhouse, the new project from Quentin Tarantino & Robert Rodriguez coming out April 6, 2007. It looks pretty sweet, especially because it has Rico from Six Feet Under and Rose McGowan with a murdering stub for a leg. Tarantino makes some good movies, despite being such a gigantic douche. The SXSW festival & Robert Rodriguez put out an open call to filmmakers to make their best 'Grindhouse Trailer', and if you are lucky enough to be at SXSW this year, you can check out all of the submissions when they are screened for Rodriguez and company at 501 Soundstage Theatre in Austin on March 10 at 5:45 pm. If you can't make that, and want to spew up your lunch by checking out a bunch of the trailers now, head on over to Ain't It Cool News and check them all out! This one is my favorite:

The REAL Big 3

No people, I don't mean GM, Ford and Daimler-Chrysler. I'm talking about the REAL Big 3 (RB3) -

Britney
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Paris
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Lindsay
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And sadly, I think Detroit's Big 3 (DB3) can stand to learn a thing or two from them bitches. Today, it was revealed that MSN has placed these chickens with their heads cut off on the top 10 list of "Women Who Make Us Cringe", placing them with the likes of devil incarnate, Ann Coulter
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and a bunch of old hags with short hair... trying to convince people they want to be housewives when they are probably just afraid to come out of the closet. (btw MSN Lifestyle thinks you're a retard and chose to advance the pictures for you - pause each frame if you want to read the story).

While these trashy starlets may make lots o people cringe, or merely give them an irreversible STD, one thing they have been that the DB3 hasn't been in quite a while is successful. If you think about it, RB3 and the DB3 have quite a lot in common. They are all known for being a little less sophisticated and classy than the Europeans and Asians even though they use and purchase a lot of their exports...and it seems none of them can go days without making headlines of their most recent messes. Somehow though, RB3 has still managed to make money and keep their stock rising. Even though all of them are well known for screwing people, this tactic has seemed to do a lot more for the RB3, while layoffs and payouts don't seem to be helping DB3 at all, except to be another reminder of why Michigan sucks. Not even things the DB3 sponsors, like the Autoshow, and its premiere of whats to come in the future could outdo Britney and her psychic ability to know to shave her head since that's what humans/aliens/scientologists will look like in the future anyway.

Yes, all, and especially my fellow Detroiters, its time we come to grips and realize that the torch has passed. The RB3 can crucify Jesus all over again and they would still generate more revenue and popularity, and they wouldn't have to merge with er bone an Asian like the DB3 might have to just to survive. It's time to give up on the DB3 ya'll and try to get the RB3 to relocate. Maybe we can convince Paris that Detroit has a big penis?? I mean, you know what they say.. eh,we wont go there..

Greetings from the Newbie!

Well hello! After emailing several suggestive photos, I was finally able to convince these fine creators of this fine blog to let me join their twisted family. That being said, let me introduce myself. The name's Girl #2 and I come to you all the way from the land of Kaldhia, where "blogging" is considered something you do to avoid getting pricked in the behind with a ram's head. So, I have a lot of learning to do.
It should also be noted that I somewhat loathe celebrities. Why, you might ask, am I writing for a celebrity blog then? Well once upon a time in Kaldhia there was some wise, drunk bastard who said that it is best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.. and I'd say intruding on their everyday lives is a good way to start. Also, I love Phil Collins and fully intend to one day find a woman to surrogate our child for us, since I do not want to physically ever give birth myself. Anyway, that's pretty much all you need to know about me for now. I can pretty much be summed up by the le art below.

Brangelina already have an Asian.



Popbytes has provided this little scoop from Star Magazine, claiming that Brad & Angelina are not adopting a baby from Vietnam. I could have told you that. They already have one Asian baby, why would they need another? I'm hoping they adopt an albino. It would be the only hottt albino in existence, and it would only be hottt because of its proximity to its new parents. But maybe I'm just hoping for that because I think I might be an albino. I mean, again, look at my picture to the right. Angelina, if I am albino, will you adopt me? And can I shower with you and Brad? That's what families do, right?

EDIT: YOU A-HOLES STAR MAGAZINE! Everyone in the world is reporting that Brad & Angelina filed adoption papers in Vietnam, meaning they've made the poor decision to adopt another Asian instead of me. F U Brangelina! Unless you want to make me your 5th child...then I still love you even if you like Asians more than me.

Lindsay Lohan Acting Again

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Wow. Lindsay Lohan is such a great actress. She is pulling so much emotion and putting them into the ones and twos. Just look at her face, it's saying "oh i want a line, but I gotta listen to this bullshit first." Do ya'll remember when Lindsay was in an actual movie, because I don't.

TGG welcomes Girl #2!



We are a family again! Keep a look out for posts from Girl #2 very soon!!!

Uh...Malcolm?



If shaving your head is a sign of things to come, than things are not looking good for Frankie Muniz. We already knew that this kid's life was gonna go down the crapper, simply because his name is Frankie. What a stupid name. Here is lil' Frankie watching a basketball game looking like he's going to murder me. Why am I always scared of people who shave their heads? At least he left a little on the top? No...he still looks like a crazy douche.

Forrest Whitaker is celebrated by booze



Dom Perignon recognized Forest Whitaker at a party in Hollywood last night. Forest Whitaker has really got it made these days. First an Oscar, and then Dom Perignon is recognizing him (whatever that means). I wish Franzia would recognize me. It is the world's most popular wine.



A bunch of celebrities joined in on the recognizing, including the brutally hot Djimon Hounsou, who was recently linked to Cameron Diaz. If you didn't think it was possible to take a downgrade from Cameron, think again, because Page Six is reporting that he is now bumping uglies with Kimora Lee Simmons. Cameron Diaz sucks, but Kimora is ah-way worse. I'm ashamed of your choices, Djimon. If your friend Forest is to be equated with Dom Perignon, Kimora can be equated to Jungle Juice. There's a little bit of everything in that ho. I hope you used protection!

Here is another picture from the recognizing. To see more, go here.

A Moment Like This



I think Helen Mirren has taken this "Sexy Grandma" thing a bit too far. Or, am I perhaps a bit jealous? I can't decide. Helen Mirren certainly has some huge boobs, but should they really be all up in my face like that? If this was your Grandma, you would be red in the face, while all your male friends sat on Grandma's couch with pillows covering up their boners. Ugh, I can't decide if this is a good or bad move for Helen Mirren. Is this a "Flaunt it if you got it, Grandma!" moment, or is it a "Jesus Christ, please put those away!" moment? Please take into consideration that this photo is from Oct. 2006. This was pre-Oscar. It will only get worse, y'all. Leave your thoughts on Helen Mirren's boobs in the comments!

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I think I'm over it.



I'm over American Idol. This is not official yet, but I'm pretty close. I didn't watch any of it last night, because America's Next Top Model was on, and it's not worth tivo-ing, which I think means I'm done with Idol this year. And in record time, no less! Usually it takes a few more shows for me to lose interest. For those of you still interested, I guess Simon Cowell has chimed in on Barba-gate 2007. He be all:

"I think it's disgraceful that so-called friends would sell these pictures," he told PEOPLE at a Playboy Mansion party for the E! show The Girls Next Door and the launch of the new Ryan Seacrest-produced reality series Paradise City. "It's private property. I really, really have a problem with that – big problem." (Barba pal – and fellow auditioner – Amanda Coluccio has insisted that the most X-rated of the bunch aren't her friend.)


Simon has a "problem with it" because he is already rich. A word to my friends: If any of you join the cast of any sort of reality tv show, you better believe I will sell any and all pictures I have of you. Consider this your warning. They could offer me $5 and a 6-pack and I would take it (Christy Phlomkin - I'm talking to you. You know I still have those pictures of you, a horse, and a cheeseburger. Think twice before you try out for that Pussycat Doll show, SLUT!). You know that it was Amanda Coluccio that sold those photos anyway. She was just trying to cash in on the fame any way that she could, so she ho'ed out her friend. That's how they roll in Jersey. I wish Amanda would have made it over Antonella, though. You know Amanda has crazy DP pictures floating around somewhere. Antonella should sell those to the media and get her revenge!

While we all are anxiously awaiting the great ANTM recap on Four Four, let me just say that I am so excited for this season! I already hate so many of them, and there has only been one episode! If I had to pick a number one most hated (and I know it's early) it would definitely be that dumb bitch from Detroit. First we have all that dead dog rapin' in Michigan, and now this is who is representing us??



Girl, you are supposedly from Detroit. Why are you trying to be friends with everyone? You are supposed to be trying to kill everyone. Represent, bitch! I was disappointed that Kathleen's annoying ass was kicked off already, but thankfully she left us with one of the best moment's from judging - EVER. I've never seen anyone so willingly, and unabashedly admitting how little intelligence they have. It was great!

I could go on and on about ANTM, but I'll spare you. What are your thoughts on Idol/ANTM and what the hell, let's throw LOST in there too. I think they won me over again last night with the Hurley episode, but this late time slot is killing me. I should not start drinking immediately after work...on Wednesdays. Only on Wednesdays.

EDIT: Apparently it is not a coincidence that I chose to talk about Antonella and that ho from Detroit in the same post, as Cityrag just posted some NSFW nudes of Jael. Her naked body looks all weird to me, although I do appreciate the "walking around naked in the streets" photo, as well as the "I think I lost my keys in my vagina, let me reach WAY up in there and see" shot.

Source & Source

I choose me



Here is Britney out on the town on her first supervised trip out of the 'hab. You know she is effed if she needs supervised visits. I mean, they let Lohan out on her own. Let's see what we can find out about rehab based on the picture above. They are clearly terrified that Britney will try to spring into oncoming traffic again, judging from the "supervisor's" tight grip on Ms. Spears' arm. Although the wig is tucked into a hat, we can see that the selection of wigs in rehab is far superior to that blonde thing that Brit was wearing on her hair before she was committed admitted. Britney is wearing her wedding ring again, but don't fear - I'm sure it just symbolizes her being committed to herself - or some dumb "Kelly on 90210 when Brandon & Dylan proposed to her at the same time" shit. But most importantly, this picture shows me that rehab rules. It's just like High School! And as much of us like to bitch and whine about how much High School sucked - get over it. High School was awesome. You didn't really have to do anything, and you got the summer off. Unfortunately, Britney is choosing to truly relive her High School moments by drawing dumb shit all over her hands, dressing unbelievably poorly, and carrying some kind of metallic blue pencil case (I truly have no idea what else that could be). Britney has not been completely broken yet. She's definitely still got that "I'm completely insane!!!" look in her eyes. Continue to hold on for dear life, "Supervisor" - if she was let loose at this fragile stage, there's no telling what she could do.

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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

It's a simple question, really.



What the shit is the point of having a bag the size of a small country if you're not going to put your crap in it? We see this all the time. A celebrity is getting out of her car, juggling red bull, a cell phone, cigarettes, babies, tampons, money, and cough drops (or "lunch" as they refer to it) - all the while, they have this massive purse dangling from their wrist or arm. Ladies, utilize your accessories! But maybe I'm looking at this all wrong...if that crap cant fit in the purse, I wonder what the hell is actually taking up all that space? Bongs? A never ending supply of over-sized sunglasses? MORE BABIES?! Someone needs to crack the case of the celebrity purse. TMZ, I'm talking to you.

Julia Stiles: Still Gross!



Julia Stiles?! Is that you? Where have you been?? You were in The Omen last year? You know I didn't see that shit...

I've never really been a fan of Julia Stiles. To put it bluntly, her head is shaped like a potato and it looks like someone smashed her face in with a shovel. Lucky (?) for her, this outfit distracts me from her face a little, as it is quite possibly the worst dress I've ever seen in my life. And it looks like her boyfriend agrees:



It's as if he is anticipating a reaction. "I know she looks like shit, please don't hit me!". Are we ever really expecting anything good from Julia Stiles, though? 'Save The Last Dance' is pretty funny, although not intentionally, and the presence of Heath Ledger and Alex Mack in '10 Things I Hate About You' help ease the pain of having to sit through 2 hours of her flat face on the screen. The moral of the story: Julia Stiles is sick.

Paris Hilton is Gorgeous



My god, she is almost too immaculate for words. Paris Hilton was busted last night for driving on a suspended license. Paris was speeding with the headlights off in her $200K Bentley around 10:30pm when she was stopped by police. The cops found out she had a suspended license and promptly towed her car away. In Paris' defense, she probably thought her lights were on because the orange glow radiating from her skin gave off an amount of light equal to that of a nuclear fallout. Sometimes there is a beauty that is just too much for this world, and that beauty is Paris Hilton.

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Kevin Federline is a pussy



Now that the lukewarm excitement of the Oscars is over, we are back to Britney drama. The cover of the latest US Weekly boasts to have "Kevin's Side of the Story" regarding all the drama surrounding him, the ex, and the babes. In the story, a source "close to Kevin" tells of how Kevin had to put his life on hold to raise the babies. Oh, and he cries all the time because of it.

A source close to the former back-up dancer says he's currently put his life on hold while he works overtime to care for his two sons (Sean Preston, 17 months, and 5-month-old Jayden James) and bring his family back together.

“He’s devastated and cries all the time,” a source close to Federline, 28, tells Us. “Kevin wants to get back together with her. He is her biggest supporter."


I'm sorry Kevin Federline has to put his career of becoming a forgettable C-List celebrity on hold to raise two of his who-knows-how-many kids. Say what you will about Britney's crazy ass, but where was Kevin when she was having a breakdown and dropping babies (out of her vag, and literally dropping her children on the ground) left and right? Don't believe US weekly's lies about this douchebag. Just because he didn't shave his head, doesn't mean that he's not equally (if not more-so) as fucked up as Britney. Someone please get these kids to the murdering stubs for hands nanny that I've created in my head. Also, if you are bored today, feel free to show me your MS Paint skills by creating an artist's rendition of what you think this "nanny with murdering stubs for hands" would actually look like.

Faggots I Hate #1, André Leon Talley.

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Where do I even begin to discuss my hatred for this beast of man. Well let us begin with how he spells his name. Gimme a break, I don't know any black folk (and i know many) who can correctly use apostrophes, much less accents when spelling they name. And what exactly is an "Editor-At-Large"? All I ever see him do is walk in the shadows of Anna Wintour and wearing furs all the time. It must be cold up there when you're 6'7" off the ground. And you know what they say about black mens, mmhhhmmm. I bet its the size of a baby! Ooh I wanna meet the twink that can accomodate that.

But anyhow, Ms. Talley abused her fashion powers on Jennifer Hudson at the Oscars. Even Jennifer has come out and said the only thing she regretted about her moment of glory was her outfit. And this is how it went down according to Page Six:

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Jennifer Hudson, did win big - but lost big, too, because of the much ridiculed metallic bolero Andre Leon Talley made her put on. (Post fashion editor Serena French said it made her look "lost in space.") "Jennifer was kind of sponsored by Talley and Vogue," said one fashionista. "Andre insisted she wear that hideous Oscar de la Renta dress with the awful, awful gold python bolero.

"Jennifer really didn't want to, and so [noted stylist] Jessica Paster got her a beautiful gold Roberto Cavalli custom-made. But when Andre found out, he went ballistic. Moments before she left for the show, there was a power struggle and Jennifer ended up putting his outfit on."


And that is why André Leon Talley is a faggot I hate.

I guess things in Texas really are bigger.

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Okay seriously, what the hell is this? Jessie Simpson has a to die for handbag collection, but this monstrosity of a wristlet gets a WTF from me. Personally, the point of a wristlet is for a person to keep all their essentials (i.e. cellphone, some cash, credit card, id) on them without having to lug a real purse/satchel/murse. Now what the hell is Jessica Simpson carrying in that armlet of hers? Leave me comments...i think she keeps an 8x10 photo of John Mayer's baby schlong .

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

What's happening in Michigan?



Oh, hello there! Glad you stopped by! What's that you say? What's happening in Michigan? Oh, you know, the usual. Rich people are wasting their time the best way they know how, Some lady is still missing, Let's see here...what else...OH - and A guy sodomized a dead dog. I'm sorry, did you not catch that last one? SOME DUDE SODOMIZED A DOG THAT HAD BEEN DEAD FOR A WEEK RIGHT OUTSIDE OF A DAY CARE CENTER. Just when I thought Michigan couldn't get anymore awesome, something like this happens and reminds me of why I'm so proud to live in glove-shaped, dog-rapin' Michigan.

via Boing Boing

An Ode to Pot.

It's okay to smoke the dope, ya'll. It really is. It's a fun harmless drug that makes you all smily and giggly. It's okay if Cameron D and my girl Drew are tokin' it up right?

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Even Marissa Cooper does it from the dead!
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Let me share my story about learning to smoke the mary jane. It's very hard for a non smoker such as I to do it. I didn't know you had to double inhale. And rolling a joint fugheddaboutit....so i smoke out of my turtles butt.

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Duh, of course it's going to be cute!

You can take the girl out of trash...

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But Bitch will always be trashy. Oh just you wait, Miss Jameson is certainly on her way. First you see the inflated lips, then the too orange to bare skin color, and next will be the the trailor trash trademark of platinum blonde. Seriously, there are hotter looking trannies in gay porns. I don't know why this girl got you hetero balls a spewin'...i guess i will never know

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Get off the grass, Lohan!

Lindsay! It's been a while. I see you're working on a movie! Is this movie a tranny bio-pic? Or perhaps the True Hollywood Story of Ashlee Simpson? Because that is what you were looking like yesterday:




But she managed to pull it together to go twirling at some party.


I mean, sort of pull it together. Listen, you can't keep showing up at parties and expect not to fall off the wagon. It will work for a while, but then you'll be doing body shots off stripper's asses again in no time. I'm gonna hit snooze on Lohan for now, someone wake me up when she's got the herp or something...