Friday, February 2, 2007

Best way to start Valentines Day Month is with a breakup

I think it had something to do with that dress...

Alanis Morissette & Ryan Reynolds is done. A joint statement from the reps of the former couple reads:

"Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette have mutually decided to end their engagement. They remain close friends and continue to have the utmost love and admiration for each other. They ask that their privacy be respected surrounding this personal matter."

My God. And in February no less. Peter Cetera, tell them what it be like:

P.S. It really helps if you read these breakup posts as the video is playing. Then, after you've wiped away the tears that surely come after any celebrity couple calls it quits, you can watch the video again, and remember all the good times you had reading about them. Just a suggestion, though.

Work it, Aoki!

Meet the future of celebrity, Aoki Lee Simmons. There really isn't much else to say about this.


What is worse?

What is worse? Seeing Denise Richard's vagina? Or seeing Denise Richards in the horrible movie Kill Shot? I know you are thinking...obviously the vagina, and I'm initially inclined to agree...but you've never seen Kill Shot, a movie so bad, Denise Richards isn't even listed in the cast on imdb, even though she appears on the cover. I've seen Kill Shot, and let me tell you, I might choose to see her wrinkly, shrunken labias over this atrociously shitty volleyball movie again.

click here to see the vagina or, click here to see imdb page for kill shot

More of Puffy's twins.

If my husband/boyfriend/partner did this before/during/or after I was giving birth to twins, I would tear out his throat with my teeth. YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE, PUFFY? I'VE GOT TWO SLIMY NEWBORNS CLAWING THEIR WAY OUT OF MY VAGINA, AND YOU ARE WEARING A HAIRNET AND POSING FOR THE CAMERA?!?!? You know Kim Porter is thinking the same thing...

But look at how unbelievably cute those two slimy newborns turned out to be:

Jesus Christ, the one on the left is smiling...SMILING!!! So.Cute.It.Hurts.

Jeremy Piven: Douche or not-a-Douche?

A lot of people think Jeremy Piven is a douche. A lot of people think he is not-a-douche, and some people even want to bone him. I ask you, dear readers, to settle this once and for all.


My thoughts on this are as follows:

Jeremy Piven was a delight in PCU. Not-a-douche.

Jeremy Piven had a birthday party and Lindsay Lohan was there looking all trashy in her nude bikini. That was on his watch. Douche.

Jeremy Piven brings his mom to award shows. Not-a-douche.

Jeremy Piven made the phrase "Hug it out" obnoxiously common among douchebags and frat boys. Even though he didn't write it, it is his fault for its popularity. Douche.

I can't deny that I find him mildly attractive, even more so in that picture with the cute monkey. Not-a-douche.

I may be wrong here...but I'm gonna say that Jeremy Piven is NOT-A-DOUCHE!!! However, if you feel differently, or can think of anything else to add to this list, please do so, in the comments! I would really like to hear other opinions on this one. Next Friday, we will have a riveting discussion on Sienna Miller: Ho or Not-A-Ho!

Pic Source

Page Six: Stars are dicks

Did you know that some of your favorite stars, aren't the nice, thoughtful, caring, hard-working people you thought they were? Wait, you never thought they were nice, thoughtful, caring or hard-working?

Well, did you know, that some celebrities....ARE ASSHOLES???!!! Yes! Even celebrities like Chris Tucker, Brett Ratner, Lindsay Lohan, and EVEN PARIS HILTON are divalicious dicks. Say it ain't so, right?! Well, thankfully Page Six is here to break the news that stars are egocentric assholes that can *gasp* sometimes hold up the shooting of a movie:

"'[Chris Tucker] won't come out of his trailer until the script is up to his standards,' giggled one spy on the set in Santa Ana. 'What, $25 million isn't enough to just do your job and act?' A rep for Tucker didn't return calls."

But my favorite is this:

"On the same set, horndog director Brett Ratner 'sends an assistant named Scott around to every female extra, collecting phone numbers in a too obvious, not-so-suave way,' the source said. 'Scott commands these $150-a-day actress-hopefuls to give him their phone numbers simply because 'the director wants it.' '

A rep for Ratner, who has dated Rebecca Gayheart and Serena Williams, said, 'That's ridiculous. If Brett wants a phone number, he'll get it himself.'

Yep, Brett Ratner has got his own assholery on lock down, all on his own, thank you very much! He doesn't need some "assistant" running around being a prick for him...he's got it covered. I mean, this is Brett Ratner we're talking about here.

Sorry to start the Friday off on such a negative note, but I just couldn't let the well-spread fallacy that your favorite celebrities are "nice, caring people" live on any longer. Yes, contrary to popular belief, Stars really are dicks...JUST LIKE US!

America's Next Top Model Cycle 8

10 alright looking girls, 2 fatties and 1 tranny stand before me...But I only have one cheeseburger in my hands, and if you call me fat, I swear to Christ I will kill you.

I can't believe they let the tranny looking girl on the show. Do you remember her from the last "Cycle"? Sure you do:

She looks like a straight up dude. I wonder how good she is at hiding her package, or if we will see some buldge when they get down to their swimsuits. See the rest of the girls here, and watch a sweet video of these bitches here. Welcome to the jungle, indeed.

Harry Potter looks...different...

If you watch one video today...well, it will probably be Tyra Banks telling people to "Kiss her fat ass!" or Paris Hilton dropping even more lovely racist slurs. But, as tempting as those videos may be, you really should bump this video to your #1 priority of the day. Best Week Ever has caught what is quite possibly the best CNN prank in the history of existence, and once again, I am thankful that those bloggers are out there, takin' 'er easy for all us sinners, and watching TV while we are all at work. Shoosh. You may or may not have seen the "Daniel Radcliffe all nekkid in Equus" pictures, but trust've never seen little Harry Potter looking like this.

Thank you, BWE. THANK.YOU.

Thursday, February 1, 2007


In a rare post after 5:00PM (EST), I bring you the TRAILER for THE VIDEO for Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around...Comes Around". Yeah, you heard me. This video is so totally sweet, you can't handle it all at once. Therefore, the nice folks at Jive Records are giving you a trailer first, to lighten the devisating blow of pure shock and awe from the sheer awesomeness and brilliance that this video will be.


Did you go watch it??? Can you imagine how sweet this video is going to be??? There's one of those old-fangled microphones in it! I got my video pre-ordered on itunes! Also, can I suggest that Scarlett Johanson only act in music videos from now on? She is a much better video ho-fessional than actress, let's be honest here. All those acting nominations she has...are for her titties. There, I said it! Now is the perfect time for everyone to stop lying. We'll all just say how amazing she was in the video, and maybe she'll just stay in thse "short movies where she doesn't talk".

Sucks to be Tim Gunn's replacement

How could one fill Tim Gunn's shoes? Dare I say, it is an impossible task and I do not envy whoever will be the new Design Department Chairman at Parsons. Thank God Tim Gunn will remain on Project Runway. Gawker posted this memo that Sir Gunn wrote to Parsons regarding his leave. FYI, the only way to really read this memo is to do your best Tim Gunn impression in your head.

TO: Students, Faculty, and Administration: Department of Fashion Design
FROM: Tim Gunn, Chair

DATE: February 1, 2007

SUBJECT: Leadership Transition

This memorandum is very difficult for me to write, because my heart and soul reside at Parsons and the University and, more specifically, with all of you in the Department of Fashion Design. The achievements that we have realized together since the time of my arrival in the Department in September 2000 are phenomenal and we should all feel very proud. I have had every reason to assume that we would be together for a very long time. However, an opportunity has presented itself that I would be foolish to turn down. I have been offered the position of Chief Creative Officer of Liz Claiborne, Inc., and I have accepted that position. In this new role, I will work with the 350 designers who create product for each of the company's 40+ brands. I will serve as a mentor, advisor, teacher, and advocate. It's very exciting for me and it is also a welcome new challenge.

I want to emphasize that my work with you has been and continues to be exciting and challenging. You students never cease to amaze me: you're intelligent, exceedingly talented, and you're fearless, qualities that ensure a metaphorical creative combustion! You faculty are our academic leaders: you nurture, inspire, and give
unconditionally and selflessly to our community. Our work together is the source of my greatest professional pride.

I want to assure all of you that my departure will in no way harm the Department. Yes, there will be a period of transition in the administration, but every measure will be put in place to ensure that the highest quality education continues to be delivered. Towards this mandate, I am working closely with the Office of the Dean and the Department's administration and full-time faculty. I have every confidence that there will be no disruptions to your academic environment.

I also want to assure you that I'm not abandoning you! I continue my commitment to the students in my class, I plan to fully participate in the senior year thesis review, and I also plan to host the Parsons Benefit and Fashion Show. Discussions are underway about how I can continue to be active with Parsons, the University, and the Department of Fashion Design. Furthermore, in my new role at Liz Claiborne, Inc.,
I will be actively and enthusiastically recruiting Parsons graduates.

Next Tuesday, February 6 at noon, I will hold an open meeting to respond to your questions and to any concerns that you may have. All of you are invited to attend.

Can Someone Please Explain

Why Mena Suvari is about to get all SWV on us? Check out those nails! She is moments away from this:

Look at the nails of the one on the left people. If you didn't know what I meant when I said "get all SWV on us", I feel sorry for you. Now, I love SWV...but unless Mena is about to launch a singing career performing SWV covers, she needs to take those Lee Press Ons off her hands. Care to take a stab at what the hell Mena Suvari is thinking here? Do so, in the comments!

Have I posted this video before? I don't care...this song rules, and check the nails:

Thanks for the pic ICYDK

Bienvenido a Miami, K-Fed

Speaking of the Superbowl, look who is in town for it! And for the 2 straight guys that read this blog, I'm sure you're super jealous that K-Fed gets to sit in the Nationwide box seats for the game, before he goes out and tries to impregnate the entire city of Miami. Did Lil' Kim let you borrow her fur sweatshirt, K-Fed? You do know where Miami is, don't you?

This is what it sounds like when Girl #1 cries



As you may or may not know, Prince is playing the halftime show at the Superbowl this Sunday, and I'm really excited about this. That was until I heard about an injury that may change the fate of Superbowl XXIVWYZ (what Superbowl is this again?) as we know it.


Sweet Jehovah Cruise, say it ain't so. All that moving, shaking, and twirling that he's done so beautifully over the years has caught up with the immaculate Prince, and while his reps will not confirm or deny if the surgery has already been done, it is out that while Prince's face may still resemble the youthful Prince we knew in the 80's, his hips surely don't lie. Prince is aging. WHY CAN'T HE BE IMMORTAL??? He will still perform at the halftime show, and I'm sure that he won't let the small problem of a busted hip stop him from making it funky, but what will happen to our dear Purple One? He is a Jehovah's Witness, and they don't believe in blood transfusions, and he would need a blood transfusion if he is to have a hip replacement. No...NO! It's all too much for me to handle. But I have faith in our dear, sweet Prince, that he will power through the pain, and hopefully be so delirious from said pain that all this Jehovah's-Witness-no-blood-transfusion-mumbo-jumbo will soon be overshadowed by excruciating pain, and he will then get the surgery he needs. If not, what am I supposed to do with all my Prince themed snacks????

Thanks to David for this story which is truly worth a read.

Dear Boston,

Dear Boston,

Has no one in your entire metropoliton city ever seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Last time I checked, I was living in the real world, and in the real world, people just blow us up if they want to. They certainly don't leave little lite-bright cartoon characters "giving the finger" before they do so (Oh my that thing flipping me off? IT MUST BE A BOMB! CALL THE AUTHORITIES!). I mean, the wet bandits don't exist, and neither does The Joker. So next time, before you go sending up the Bat Signal, perhaps...i don't a google search? Is any research done before a city is sent into mass panic?

Read the full story, including the fact that they are considering this a "hoax" and arresting people here.

UPDATE: If you want to be my new best friend, please drop $5K on me and buy me one of these LED Advertising bombs, currently listed on Ebay. Or if you live in one of the 9 other cities where people aren't wicked crazy, please remove one of these signs, and give it to me, so I can sell it on Ebay. Thanks!

Tara Reid has a "big smelly loose vagina"

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The Winner for Best Blowjob Giver goes to Paris Hilton
The Winner for Big Smelly Pootang goes to Tara Reid
The Winner for Most used goods goes to Lindsay Lohan
The Winner for Most Diseased goes to Joe Francis!!

Girls Gone Wild! Mogul Jow Lawrence chimed into the Howard Stern show and tried to deny claims that he and Paris were not behind the Pariexposed website. Listeners alleged that he sounded very high. Stern thought he was a liar because he kept saying the parisexposed website over and over and over. Like he would make money off everytime he said the site. Surprisingly, the only chick he used a condom with was Tara Reid...good for her or good for him? Meaning, he probably had sex with Paris after she got the herpes. He also had sex with Lindsay Lohan who also will now have herpes. Jesus, a herpes outbreak in all of young hollywood ahahaha. Herpes is the new HIV, but for you straighties. BooYaa...the fags win! But heteros, do let Paris suck you off cuz apparently she is good at it, but watch out for those "canker sores."

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Puffy's twins!

Before Puffy was literally all up in Sienna Miller he made a couple babies with Kim Porter, and here they be! Awwwww...Twins are cute! ....Awww...Puffy's face is not cute, put those sunglasses back on, please. Too bad he's about to leave the baby mama for some dumb slut, but if you are a faithful reader of Two Girls and a Gay, you knew that shit was gonna happen.

Thanks YBF!

Why, Parker Posey...Why!?

The look on her face is saying, "Hhmmmmmm....Not so much". And that is exactly how I feel about this outfit. Still love ya, though!

I tried really hard not to post this...

But I just have one question. Why does this dumb bitch get a pass for being essentially, a dumb bitch with a lovely splash of racism, while all other dumb bitches get sent to rehab? Someone assassinate her.

Father to Daughter:

In Touch Weekly has posted a letter written by Crazy Daddy Lohan to his daughter, Crazy Daughter Lohan. You can go here if you care to read the whole thing. It's not as crazy as we usually get from him, so I'm a bit disappointed. But, here are a few highlights:

You have such a kind and loving heart, which is more valuable than the world has to offer. You know that, God knows that and so do I - I've seen it in so many tears we've shed on each others' shoulders, through the love, pain and while helping others. Remember the boy in the wheelchair while we attended ABC Primetime at Disneyland, or how about the little girl with cancer at Leigh Valley Hospital? We sow in tears but can reap in joy Lindsay.

And do you remember, dear Daughter, when I assaulted your uncle with a shoe? Good Times! I cried...cause I was laughing so hard! But seriously, when I get out, can we hook up a few more appearances with ABC Primetime? Man, would I like to give Diane Sawyer the business. And by business I mean, put my wang all up in there. You feelin' me on this one, daughter?

People, places and things are huge factors Lindsay, remember that.

They are also called nouns, Crazy Daddy Lohan.

My heart is with you sweetheart and so am I. Always was and always will be, to the very end. We are one soul inhabiting two bodies. Two in kind. I feel your love, the pain and your presence as I hope you do mine.


Yes, dear Daughter, it's almost as if I, Crazy Daddy Lohan was starring in such delightful films like "Herbie: Fully Loaded". Speaking of, I haven't received my royalty checks from starring in that, or any of your OUR other films. I will continue to assume that the check is in the mail.

I can't wait for the day to hold you, look in your eyes and reap the joy we sowed with our tears. Until then, know that God is with you, and so am I.
- My undying love, Daddy

Listen Crazy Daddy Lohan, referring to yourself as "Daddy" is creepy. In fact, you are pretty creepy all around. Man, it sure is going to be sweet when this crazy is let out of jail!

Anderson Cooper gets fucked in the butt for coke!...and probably just for pleasure too!

The always credible Fox News ran this little ad in "Television Week". I don't know who that ho is on the right, nor do I care. While Anderson Cooper may be gay, he is much hotter than whats-her-face on the right, and we all know that the most factual, not to mention fair and balanced, news comes from only the hottest of people. When asked to respond, Anderson Cooper merely shrugged, picked up his chihuahua and gently whispered "That's hot!".


Tyra, you so crazy!

Here comes Tyra! Oh hell-to-the-no you didn't call her fat! Bitch is gonna tear shit up on her show on Thursday! I'm calling in sick to work just to watch it. Ok, that's a lie, but the sad truth is...I want to. I pretty much support and agree with everything Tyra is saying, is funny to hear Tyra say it. I'm not making fun of her because she has put on some weight, I'm making fun of her because bitch is crazy and can create fake tears better than anyone I have ever seen. If you are living the high life (read: unemployed) please tune in to the Tyra show tomorrow and let me know how it went.

Brutally Hottt

Bob Saget, The Olsen twins, and...Gilbert Gottfried? Has someone snuck into my dreams? These four people in one room, together in one picture, gives me one massive she-bone. And I don't know if MK has been dieting, or if it's just the blonde hair, but she's looking skinny, y'all. And by skinny, I mean amazing and popular.

Who still cares about this? A show of hands, please.

I really don't know what side to pick in the Britney V. K-Fed battle anymore. On the one hand, K-Fed is trash, but on the other hand, so is Britney. Britney seems like a pretty awful parent, but K-Fed did too until he got his moneys taken away via divorce. Hard to say which side is better, but the plot thickens in this saga that I'm quickly caring less and less about with each passing second. But, people like to hear about this. Why? Because it makes them feel better about their own lives:

“'Kevin says that Britney offered him $10 million to walk away from their marriage and to relinquish custody of their kids, but he just laughed. Then she came back with $20 million which he turned down too,' a source told the tab 'Now he says she’s offering a whopping $25 million, and that’s her final offer. He told her to take a hike! He loves his two little boys, and there’s no way he’s going to disappear from their lives.'”

Whatever. Here is a message to K-Fed and/or Britney: Give me $20 and I will stop writing about you. Forever. With one exception. I will post pictures of Jayden James when they finally surface. I really wonder what that baby looks like. I bet he has an arm or a vagina growing out of his head.


Posh thinks models are too skinny, but she is just right

For her first duty as Queen of LA, Victoria Beckham will start her own fashion line. However, she is banning size 0 models from working her styles on the runway. A source for the Daily Mail claims:

"Victoria wants to give out a positive image that you don't have to be ultra skinny to look good.

"Many of the models on the catwalk make young girls feel insecure about their own bodies.

"Victoria doesn't want to be accused of giving young girls a complex about their image and putting pressure on them to be as skinny as her."

Does this strike anyone else as a wee-bit ironic? She might as well be saying "Keep on with the fatness! It makes me look more fabulous!" We all know that rail thin is the way to go, it makes you more popular, and you get used to only eating a stick of gum and a piece of lettuce everyday. You know Posh is just doing this so when these "curvy" size 2 or 4 models come out on the runway, followed by her, she will clearly stand out as not only the thinnest, but also the bestest. Well played, Posh.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Please God Let This Be True!

US Weekly is reporting that Courtney Love has been called to be a guest judge on American Idol. Do it, Girl! She did such a great job the the last time I saw her on TV. I can just imagine her, all strung out, young adults hoping for a chance at stardom looking to her for some advice on how they can improve, or some constructive criticism, and all Courtney Love would do is shit her pants and then smoke a cigarette. American Idol is about to get a whole lot sweeter, as if that was possible! We will keep you posted as this one develops!

Jayla's Pipe Dreams

When I first happened upon this picture on Jayla Rubinelli's Myspace Page, I thought that there is no way in hell that this America's Next Top Model Cycle 5 reject landed a cover of Vogue. Turns out, I was right. This is some "fan art" that some 15 year old boy who wants to titty-fuck this ho made for her. Keep dreaming, Jayla. Haven't you ever heard the saying "Every time a 15 year old boy blows his load while thinking of you, a top model reject gets the cover of Vogue"?

The Couple that Rehabs together, Relapses Together.

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Oh deary my Kate and Pete have entered rehab together in hopes of relapsing together. Why are people such tragedies. He obviously loves doing drugs because he gets into the news for it. Shoot, if everytime i shot up i was on the cover of Us Weekly, you betcha i'd be doing it all the time. The world need to cool the eff out and stop making him a headline.

I want to kill this baby.

Before y'all start calling the fuzz on me, let me remind you of the only way I know how to deal with such a cute baby. I threaten great harm to all of my friend's babies all the time, and they know (or hope) thath I would never really hurt the baby. Anyhoo...what the fuck. Kingston is so g.d. cute that I worry that my head might explode. He is so cute, I'll even excuse the sweatpants and rainboots that his mommy is wearing.

Holy crap. I'm glad baby punching is frowned upon, otherwise I could not contain myself, and I would punch the crap out of that cute baby.

Holy Shit...This is awful.

Mandy Moore, why must you disappoint me so? I must admit, it's been downhill since your first hit, Candy, but I've stood by you. Even when you dated Zach Braff, I stood by your ass. And, excited isn't the right word to describe how I felt when I heard you were coming out with a new album, but I was...interested? I guess that's the right word. Well, now that you've put a song from your new album on your myspace, I can say that I am not pleased, and no longer interested in your new album. Way to crush any hope I had for you, Mandy. I guess I can still have hope for you as an actress. For those of you who do not have a borderline creepy obsession with Mandy Moore, allow me to set up a clip from a previous Mandy Moore masterpiece called "Chasing Liberty".

In this scene, Mandy Moore is at some festival in Berlin that looks like a gay-old time. The best part of the clip (and of the film as a whole) starts at 2:45, and hits its peak at 4:10, when Mandy exhibits the difficult task of slow-motion running. ("Excuuuuuuse...mmmmeeeee"). After that, it's pretty much back to a really shitty movie, but that slow-motion running scene really made my cheap theater movie price of $1.50 worth it.

Mandy, if you would only channel the power of slow-motion running into song, I think you could have a winner.

Why do famous lesbians write like assholes?

Here's a question for all the lady all lesbians write shitty prose, or is it just the pseduo-famous ones? First, during the whole Trump V. O'Donnell feud, we were introduced to her "style" of writing. Here is an example of how O'Donnell rolls:

u ok mama
yes i said
a little ashamed

she took my hand
it’s ok 2 b big

quoting her favorite todd parr book

the search for clean water in a swamp
journey on

Jesus Christ. For more from O'Donnell, you can check out her blog.

And now, Tammy Lynn Michaels (Who? Oh yeah, Melissa Etheridge's partner.) released a shitty prose statement regarding the Isaiah Washington scandal. She's sticking up for the actor, shittily prosing:

he is not a bad man ...
i forgive his words,
because truth be told
i do not believe
the word
lives in his heart

i don't understand
why you
lesbians choose to write
like this

i barely
consider myself a writer
and don't
use punctuation,
or follow any
of the standard
rules of the
but writing like this
does not make
your words
a deeper meaning
or make you seem smart

it only
makes you seem like an

and when i read it
in my head
i have to
at the end
of each
shitty line
and that
enrages me.


Bodysuits...even better without pants!

Did I not tell y'all that bodysuits were coming back? Well, fashonista extraordinaire Sienna Miller is here, taking it one step further, and pairing her favorite body suit with tights, ankle boots, and nothing else. Well done, Sienna. This weekend, all you ho's reading this blog should try this look when you're out at the club. At first, it may seem a little strange, as all new fashion trends generally do, but just justify it by thinking about how easily you slip into that barely-there corset and slut it up all over town during Halloween. Think of a bodysuit as a corset with a crotch. And, you don't have to wait until Halloween to dress like a dumb slut in 2007! You can be ahead of the trend like Sienna Miller and wear this bodysuit every day! To work even! I'm wearing this outfit right now at the office, and let me tell you, everyone here either really likes it (judging only by the copious amounts of boners I see today) or is too scared to say anything about it (judging by the evil looks I'm getting from my hateful, jealous boss).

Even Puffy (Yes, Diddy, P. Diddy, Sean "Puffy" Combs...Whatever you choose to call him. I like just the plain old "Puffy", and while I'm sure he hates it, I will only call him Puffy from now on) loves the bodysuit! Judging from him man-whoring about with Ms. Bodysuit herself, it seems like Puffy wants to unsnap the crotch-snap that some high-end bodysuits have, and gently place his wang inside. See ladies, bodysuits attract celebrities. 2007 is the year of the bodysuit. Believe that.

Monday, January 29, 2007

One More Thing...

Ska-Hippie has officially been added to Urban Dictionary. Start using it now, before it becomes too cool and you have no choice but to hate it.

Still not 100% sure on what constitutes a ska-hippie? Know what a ska-hippie is and want to expose them on a global level? Send all ska-hippie photos/questions to We will be happy to clarify/make fun of any and all submissions.

Holy Crap what a slow day

Unless you want to see an almost nekkid Harry Potter, or if you can't wait until this Sunday to see the complete K-Fed Nationwide Super Bowl commerical, or if you care about that stupid horse dying (or was it that attractive man who plays for the Phoenix Suns that was euthanized?), or if you want to see even MORE of what you already have seen of Paris Hilton, yes...unless you care about any of that shit, today was a rather slow day for gossip. Here's hoping tomorrow brings someone slutting it up, or getting busted, or talking some shit, or SOMETHING. Until then, here's a trailer for the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie that is coming out this year. See all y'all tomorrow. I promise it will be better...

Gays call it quits.

No, not all gays...just a couple. Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl have broken up. Wow, no one saw that coming...That's what they get for trying to save face for publicity's sake. I'm starting to believe the rumours that Reichen was just a man-whore looking for some famous ass to get him in the spotlight. And I will stand by my downsy looking former N'Sync-er on this one. Phil Collins, tell them what it BE LIKE (this song serves a double purpose. the first is to give us all 5:00 to think about the pain and suffering a break-up can cause, and the second is to voice my opinion of this couple...I don't care anymoorh!)

Aretha Franklin does her best cookie monster

UNCF hosted a tribute to Aretha Franklin. Jennifer Hudson and Fantasia were there, and both killed it. The videos are below, and both are definitely worth watching, not only for the singing, but to see Aretha wearing some crazy ass blue concotion she called a "dress". Aretha, we love you, but seriously...what the fuck?

The SAG awards was lame.

So, the SAG awards were last night? Did you know that? Me neither. That's because no one cares about the SAG awards. I did watch them, however. And they pretty much were extremely boring, the only reason why I found them mildly enjoyable is because I had a date with a bottle of wine Sunday night, and I killed that by 8:15pm. Here are a few key moments from the SAG's last night. Note, there weren't even enough sweet moments to make a top 5. There were only 3 noteworthy moments last night, and here they be:

Rachel McAdams looked deliciously slutty. DAMN, that's a short dress...

Little Miss Sunshine won for Best Ensemble. I saw this movie this weekend. The first in my attempt to see all of the Oscar nominated films this year. While the movie was cute, I can't believe that little girl was nominated for best supporting actress. Bitch has about 3 lines! Anyway, everyone loves a playful take on the sad bastard family, so this film will probably run away with Oscar gold and be the upset of the year. Anyhoo...Greg Kinnear was way cute and picked up the little girl when they accepted their award:

But then the cuteness soon wore off, as Abigail Breslin struggled with all of her might to hold up the apparently heavy SAG award, and no one would help her. What a great "ensemble", you dicks:

And finally, the best moment of the night had to be when Grey's Anatomy won for Best Dramatic Series. Not because they deserve the award, because they don't. But because Ellen Pompeo was a dumbass, said people weren't there when they standing right behind her, and basically bumbled her way through one of the worst acceptance speeches of all time. I will post the video of this once it is available. Until then, here is her fug ass:

EDIT: Here is the video:

In other weekend news:

Angelina Jolie's mom died. Le cry. US Weekly
Is Kylie Minogue's boyfriend cheating on her with a lesbot? Dlisted
J-Lo's dad is a effin' Scientologist. TMZ
Julia Roberts' kids need haircuts. Mollygood
Full list of SAG award winners. Like you care. Hollyscoop

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The reason Mischa is so blah!

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This is Cisco Adler. Whitestarr singer and Mischa Barton's boyfriend. You must look at the image. His balls are so HUGE!!! Like for real. His balls hang low and the wobble to and fro! I mean, its probably why Mischa always has a blank stare, bitch is stupid from gettin' hit with the GINORMOUS Balls. Oh deary my...and can anyone tell me what that white substance is? I keed i i need to be told ahah