Tuesday, September 18, 2007


As I am young(ish) and therefore impressionable, I am usually quick to follow the lead of my favorite celebrities.

When Ashton Kutcher started gallivanting round Hollywood looking like an asshole with his shaggy hair and trucker cap, I hopped on that train.
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LindseyMischaNicoleKeiraMaryKate decided that it was hip to be all hip bones and impossibly thin and I stopped eating for weeks. I lost a few teeth in the process, but I have never felt more popular.
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This year I even spent a lil time in the pokey and did 63 hour stint in rehab due to exhaustion caused by a raging case of alchoholism. Amy Winehouse, Isaiah Washington, Kramer, Mel Gibson, Miss USA, Linds, Brit, you all know what I'm talking about, right?

This newest trend however, is not one I can fully get behind. Maybe it's because I'm a little old fashioned, or maybe just cause I think there are enough bastards in the world, but making illegitimate babies is all the rage in 2007.

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Halle is knocked up by some model.

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Borat's bitch is pregnant!

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Everybody knows what this ho has been up to.

Ladies, I hope your baby daddies will continue to look at you the same way and not like the tainted fruit that you are. Kids, you won't feel like mistakes forever. Trust me.

Did I forget anyone? That's what the comments are for.

Baby Mamas, this one is for you.


candini said...

welcome back jig! another fine post.

sarah said...

...like the tainted fruit that you are.

That my friend, is one AWESOME phrase!

Anonymous said...

damn halle, that looks uncomfortable. nicole looks chicer than you, girl (as preggers, not emaciated). just sew up my uterus right now. and borat's little lady looks.. little. like 14. unsettling.
you know, it seems like it would do nicole some good to spend much more time pregnant. as long as she sells her babies to brang, because god help us if she takes any part in raising the little, well, bastards. but that's what nannies are for, right?

MsPuddin said...

Can’t forget Naomi and that one chick Bridget, Tom Brady’s baby mama…

Also the trend of tacky hair extensions (Britney) and Eve’s cool and exclusive anklet. In the words of Paris, so HOT!!


Anonymous said...

Also Mel B and Eddie Murphy's love child. Just thought I would mention: She looked disguisting as a pregger but now she is banging again. Celebrities like to throw their banging bodies in my face.


Anonymous said...

wow, i don't know who this jigga the nigga is, but he/she is obviously some jealous, ignorant bitch. get a life and stop knocking people that are obviously a lot more together than you. who the hell would call themselves j the nig anyway. what a loser.