Wednesday, July 11, 2007

You can do better than that

When you're entire body can be completely hidden behind a pillow...perhaps it is time to set the stakes a little bit higher. Find something smaller to hide behind, and then starve yourself until you are no longer able to be seen behind it. A pillow is pretty good, but I think you can do better, Nicole Richie. Might I suggest:

A Popsicle Stick

At 4.5 inches tall and 3/8 inches wide, you really can't set a better goal to attain. You'd have to find some way to magically shrink yourself, but I'm sure if you find the right combination of the drugs that you are undoubtedly on at any given time, you can make it happen.

A little person

Again, we're dealing with the height problem - but little people aren't called little because they are fatties. Even the fatties probably weigh in at about 80lbs! Not too bad, little people! I'm surprised you're not more popular, considering how little you weigh.

A potato

If you want to be skinny, you certainly cannot eat a potato. But if you are skinny, you sure as shit can hide behind one. Try not eating as many potatoes as possible, in order to (hopefully) be the size of one someday. If you follow this logic, you can think of that unfortunate soul that may or may not be growing inside of you as nothing more than the eye of your potato-like frame.

Any other thoughts of things that Nicole Richie could hide behind if she starved herself enough? Leave them in the comments! But you better make it fast, her DUI trial is scheduled to begin today. Man, jail is going to make her so thin & popular!



MsPuddin said...

lmfao!! Your killin me...did her man really just hold a pillow up for her to hide behind?


Canadian Viagra said...

I think this man has serous problems because how this man can carry out a pillow in that place I think he needs help.