Who would you rather bone?

VS.



Let's say your faced with a rather unfortunate decision. You must let either People magazine's most sizzlingest sizzler, Matthew McConaughey, thrust you to the beat of whatever jam he's listening to on his ipod (our guess, It's Raining Men) - or you have to be possibly smothered by Jack Nicholson's handsome, whale-like physique as he bones you and mumbles on about that one crazy night he and Brando spent together involving a bottle opener, two french hookers, and a rack of ribs. It's your choice. You can't choose neither...but you CAN chose both. My choice would obviously be Jack. I would hope that the time & effort required of us both to actually find his penis underneath all of that man-meat would render him too tired to bone, and he'd just share his beer & sandwich with me instead: