Monday, July 16, 2007

Fresh out of Promises, Lindsey Lohan needs stiff drink.

Remember the days when Lindsey was full of promise and was a decently fine actor, and not a complete junkie whore? Is she too far down the well to be saved? Can she ever reclaim any amount of dignity after these past years of LOOSE behavior?

Frankly, I don't know. I don't know what Linds should do. But, i DO know what she shouldn't.

Don't be a lesbian. At least not with this dude.

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Don't date anymore douche bags.
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DO NOT, under any circumstances, turn out like your mother.
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Don't take your clothes off anymore. It makes you seem whorey.
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LiLo, if you are reading this, please take my advice. Jigga ain't never wrong. Got something to contribute? Leave your sage advice in the comments.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

1. Close your legs.

Has anyone else seen 28 Days Later? STOP IT WHILE WE CAN! Can you imagine a little lindsay growing inside that polluted womb? Suicide seems like such a tempting option at that thought.

2. Close your mouth.

Sweetie, that isn't music. The only person enjoying it is Brooke Hogan, because she seems talented in comparison. We already have war and famine in the world, do we really need more pain?

3. Close your mouth. Permanently.

Just stop breathing. If this happens I will personally fund a parade, confetti, trumpets, dancing primates, the whole enchilada.

4. Give me all your money.

I will use it for all kinds of amazing things to improve the world, like fast food tacos and lipgloss.