Thursday, July 19, 2007

Fatty bites little guy. World wonders 'Why?'

Something I'll never understand: Why dudes fight as a way of showing affection. "Oh my god! What happened to you??" I'll say to my imaginary French boyfriend Francois (who loves crepes and is a closeted homosexual) when he comes home late at night, profusely bleeding from the nose. "Oh, me and Bernard got in a fight", he responds. "Who is Bernard? A common street thug?" "Oh no, he's my friend - we were just fighting." What the hell is that?

Granted, I'm sure Francois' problem has more to do with how rough gay sex can get, but straight dudes do this shit all the time. Straight dudes like Suge Knight and Kevin Connelly from Entourage. It got so hot & steamy masculine and tough between these two, that Suge BIT Kevin, and Kevin bled all over the place. The NY Daily News reports:

Several sources tell us the two were playfully wrestling at the late-night after-party thrown by awards host LeBron James at the Mondrian hotel.

"Kevin and Suge were wrestling and Suge literally bit Kevin's finger," says a witness. "He was bleeding everywhere."

Was Kevin fighting back?

"No way! He was too busy bleeding."

Why would Suge Knight bite someone? Three possible reasons:

1) He watched this and remembered that he always aspired to be like Mike Tyson.

2) He got hungry, as fatties generally tend to do, and mistook Kevin's finger for a vanilla wafer.

3) He's finally realized the implications of this and is desperately trying to get his street cred back.

Why do you think this fatty bit the little guy? Leave your ideas, in the comments!

1 comment:

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