Monday, July 23, 2007

Amy Winehouse wants a baby in her box.

The singer/songwriter/lush/junkie whore is rumored to want to start a family with new husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. The celebmonger in me really wants Amy to be knocked up, but the concerned human being in me wants this to be totally untrue. I am sure that Amy has already listed the pros and cons of carrying a baby to full term. I just happen to have a copy of said list. I'd post the original but it has a lot of pee stains and I think she tried to smoke half of it.

Pro: Having a family is every girls dream.
Con: Singing, pissing my panties, puking in front of people is my dream too.

Pro: Could carry baby in hair.
Con: Hair falling out.

Pro: Baby could have my husbands eyes
Con: Baby could also have my snaggle teeth. And beehive. And alcoholic tendencies.

Pro: I would gain some much needed weight.
Con: How will girls, and my own kid know to look up to me? Wait, I ain't no fucking role model! Plus I hate bald peoples. but my babies would has my beehive, right? I still might cut it anyway. God, Im so hungry. I want a juice? with gin. and no ice. and no juice.


That's pretty much all i could salvage. Well, there was a part where she was talking about a line of blow and a bloody really didn't make a whole lot of sense. I guess we'll have to wait and see what she decides. As if she could ever carry baby! Can a girl under 88lbs even make eggs? Put down the pipe and pick up a pork chop Amy!

*a few pics of Amy looking especially treated*
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


sarah said...

What?!? Oh, hell no Snaggles can't make babies, yet!?

mindy said...

Wow, she is so hideously unattractive, it is insane.