Tuesday, June 5, 2007

I decided long ago to STOP ADOPTING

Brad Pitt, you need to get control of your wife. Step 1: Stop letting her go to orphanages. When she's saying she's just going to go "check it out", it really means she's coming home with yet another baby. Yes, rumor has it that Brangelina will be adopting another child, this time from the Czech Republic where Angelina Jolie has been filming her latest movie. This news is coming right on the heels of a recent interview that Jolie gave to Marie Claire in which she said that she and Brad don't have enough time together:

"Everybody needs individual time. Shiloh has our attention when the others are at school. Mad [her son Maddox] stays up the latest, so he gets the nighttime. During the day, I'll go for a walk or do something specific with Pax or Z [Zahara] . . . We're working on it; we're working on it. Right now, we're not great about Mommy-and-Daddy time."

What better way to "work on it" than to adopt another one. Just to let you know, that offer to adopt me is still on the table. If you really have it in your heart to adopt a Czech, guess what! I'm part Czech! It will work out perfectly! I will gladly join the international army that you are building and we will take over the world in 2026. Either that, or the stress of all the billion babies Angelina has will be too much for her, forcing her to regress back to good ol' druggy Angie. You will be really glad you chose me then, because I can help you put drugs in the kids' bug juice & switch the babies diets from formula to wine. Whichever scenario pans out, I will be a great asset. Until you choose to adopt me, maybe you should cool out on the Whitney Houston. Children may, in fact, be our future - but that doesn't mean you need to adopt all of them.

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