Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Free crap ain't what it used to be



Oh hey, Fergie! Whatcha got there? Some ultra cool swag?? Why don't you look more excited? That's a muthafuckin BRATZ doll! 8-year-old girls literally murder each other over those things. And it's free! Why so sad? Perhaps it's because you already have that one at home? Maybe some other fucking free, cool shit will cheer you up:



*Sigh* Being a celebrity is hard isn't it? You get so much free stuff all the time, it's just not even fun anymore. Stupid shoes. They call that swag? What will it take to make Sir-Fergs-A-Lot smirk? Perhaps an oversized bra and panties set, signed by none other than Avril Levigne?



There we go! We got a slight smile out of you! Everyone loves big underwear! Next time you are being showered with gifts that you could just buy because you have millions of dollars, maybe try to be a bit more excited? No one wants to see a celebrity begrudgingly accepting gifts that we would give our right ovary for (Bratz people: Call me). I suggest turning it way, way up, like so:


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