Lindsay Lohan still needs some new friends

Lindsay Lohan needs better friends. It was not a pleasant memorial day weekend for the 20 year old, who was *deep breath*: arrested for DUI & possession of cocaine, her sweet sponsor for her 21st birthday party pulled out of the deal leaving her no choice but to celebrate her 21st birthday back in rehab. So Lohan had to get at least one last buzz on before she was sent back to the caged, sober hell that is the Promises Treatment Center, so she went out partying with her girlfriend Samantha Ronson, and then night ended like this.

Lindsay Lohan's friends are dicks. First of all, she's going out and partying with these assholes, getting herself wasted, getting them wasted, I'm sure she's paying for everything, and her dick friends make her drive their asses home too? And when her friends do drive her home, they don't even shield her drunk ass from the cruel lens of the paparazzi? Maybe Samantha should have draped something over her wasted friend so these photos wouldn't have been all over the internet today. I mean, don't get me wrong...I'm glad to see her like this, but who hasn't been here before? I can't speak from experience as far as the DUI/coke binge thing goes, but I definitely can relate to her drunk ass passed out in the passenger seat, probably mumbling something about going to Taco Bell, while blindly swatting away any help anyone is trying to give her. But, not only would my friends still try to help me no matter how hard I hit them, or how many times I told them I was "fukkin FINE man...fah...jesuhus...i jus need...sleeping now..." and they'd probably stop by Taco Bell for me too. Unfortunately for Lindsay, this is not true with her friends. So, better luck next time? We'll keep you posted on any major, groundbreaking, life changing developments in the Lohan-saga. At least this will probably give Britney Spears a break from her share of constant, unrelentless public ridicule.