Yesterday, Angelina Jolie sent my world into a rapid tailspin when she told reporters that she would be taking a year off sometime in the near future to further help heal the world. What am I going to do with myself during her hiatus? How will I live without Angelina? I had to take a moment to collect myself. I did this by sneaking off into my closet where I keep my Angelina shrine and consult it for the infinite wisdom that it always provides. I'm feeling much better now, and I'd like to share with you some things that I plan to do with all of the free time I'm about to have.
*Finally start taking care of my children. They haven't been doing so well these days:
*Finish my unauthorized biography of Angelina, tentatively titled "God gave me these lips so I could save us all" or "Boom I got your boyfriend, I got your man (I got him)"
*Continue perfecting my needlepoint work. Finish ongoing series of inappropriate depictions of people and horses:
*Befriend Lindsay Lohan. Have her teach me the ways of pantylessly destroying various hotel suites (2nd item).
I think those things should keep me busy for a while. Any other suggestions? Other than crying myself to sleep on a nightly basis? Leave them in the comments! Angie, this one goes out from me...to you: