There is a new form of terror that we should all be on the look out for. Set your terror alert-o-meters to blood red, because Jessica Simpson is on the prowl, infesting our good 'ol boys with STD's just by standing near them. These men obviously knew the implications of standing next to STD Simpson, or at least they would if they read our blog. Now 4 of our finest are plagued with the herpes and will be unable to continue their war of terror.
Britney Spears is also terrorizing the nation by showing us the true meaning of the slur "towelhead". Thanks to Britney for literally interpreting this one for us, but we don't want your terrorism in the form of a comeback either. I hope Commander Dubbya is keeping a close eye on our own. Why are we fighting overseas when there is a war at home? And no, I'm not talking about that terrible tv show that makes me want to kill myself.