When Lindsay Lohan was in Japan last week, I kinda felt like something was missing in my life. Everything seemed to just fall apart. Here's why:
"When my friends and family are around me I feel like they're safe . . . When my friends have left me - I've just seen everything collapse. They're not safe without me"
Yes Lindsay, your mom especially seems to do really great things when she's around you, and I do really great things when I'm reading about you! You are like Jesus in that way. You are my firecrotched rock and I don't know what I'd do without you. I appreciate that you are reaching your hand out to the unidentified black man in the photo above and giving him the ol' Lohan drunk eyes. Touch and heal the people Lohan! As it says in the Book of Lohan, "And she descended upon the earth in a cloud of cocaine, and she breathed her vodka/cran breath upon them, and they were safe". You were put on this earth to do more than just get drunk, go to rehab, and then come out of rehab and continue to drink & party. Well, according to you in that same interview, your life is partying, and you're not going to give that up...well, maybe you are, who knows really? But what I do know is that it's good to have you out there, takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Thank you, Lindsay Lohan, for making this world a better place.