Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A pubic service announcement



Hi, I'm Jessica Simpson. Are you cursed as I am? No, I'm not talking about my hideous face or personality, I'm talking about my lack of a FUPA, or Fat Upper Pussy/Pubic (whichever floats your boat) Area. For many a FUPA, you can check out this blog. Yes, my lack of a FUPA has cursed me for many years. You may think that celebrities can "have it all" but all I want is a good old fashioned FUPA for my lovely love John Mayer to rest his head upon. He can make his strange faces into it while I gently stroke his hair and sing "This little light of mine" into his ear. I've tried overeating but I either can't resist the urge to purge, or all the weight goes straight to my labias instead of the upper region where I'd like it. But thanks to HIGH-RISE JEANS, my lack of a FUPA problem is solved! These high-rise jeans are perfect because they are all bunchy right where my FUPA would be! Me & John thank you, awful jeans, for making my lifelong dream become a reality!

Source

5 comments:

Wonder Grrl said...

Thanks for alerting me to what FUPA is and the site link! Considering applying to be a FUPA hunter...

Love the site!

candini said...

those jeans are fucking sick. the whole outfit, tan, and hair is just wrong. i think i threw up a little in my mouth when i viewed this.

nic said...

#1) Jessica looks hideous in this picture!! Someone with a "hot" body like that should NEVER waste it on a pant/shirt combo like this!

#2) I'm representin' for all of those mama's who's kids rode the baby slide into this world but left a little fupa behind. Listen, we are just like you young, skinny, bitches, except older, more intelligent, sportin' a tuck o' fupa. At least we have something to show for it!

#3) I'm not talking about the unhealthy, go-to-"Ryans Steak and Buffet"-EVERY-night-and-eat-until-I-can-hardly-walk fupa. That's just scary!

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