Aw, poor Kirsten. It's been real fun watching you look like a tard while your love for some British dude blossomed. You taunted us with promises of moving far, far away and never returning. But, alas I knew it must be too good to be true, because it is being reported that your ass got dumped. While it pleases me that you were the one dumped, I am saddened by the fact that you will now be returning to the States and will continue to torment us with your Fug. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted and even trash such as Kirsten deserves a breakup song. So here ya go:
In other Fug Love news, Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz are boning. Well, they are probably doing the closest thing to boning that such a ridiculously faggy dude can do with a lady that he is not attracted to: dry humping doggy-style and letting her blow him with the lights off. Good luck with that one, guys. Since I'm hoping none of you care about this, I won't go into much detail. Let me just say that since Pete Wentz is reportedly the reason that Robert Smith of The Cure will be working with Ashlee on her upcoming album, and since I hate him so very, very much, I hope Ashlee gives Pete a new, incurable strain of chlamydia that she probably contracted from her father touching her one too many times in her no-no zone. With his penis.