Oh, to be Zahara Jolie-Pitt. To have Brad Pitt pick me up and hold me by the butt and take me to Baskin Robbins to buy me an ice cream cake. Zahara Jolie-Pitt is the luckiest child in the entire world. And she knows it. I see how you're looking at me Zahara, and you don't have to be all in my face with the fact that your dad is Brad Pitt and that he's touching your butt. Dang, what a cute kid. Too bad my envy outweighs her cuteness. You're dead to me, Zahara. I hope the cake was worth it.