Here we have Nicole Kidman, with her kids - who I assumed were dead because we never really see them - Connor & Isabella. First things first - what the hell is going on with Nicole Kidman's face? I don't trust her either...she's looking a bit too much like another porcelain robot. But more importantly, I call dibs on Connor. Sure, he may be 12 now, but in 2 years he'll be 14 and I will rob him of his precious scientologist flower. I will bone the scientology right out of him! Seriously, this kid is gonna be hot. Well, he'll either be hot or gay - the pink is throwing me off. And I'm sure you're saying "Oh Girl #1 you nasty! That is a child!" to which I would say "You nasty? What is this, 1992? Anyway - if there's grass on the wang, play ball?" In 6 years when those of you who are dictated by "societal norms" and "appropriate behavior" feel comfortable enough to talk about wanting to bone him, just remember that I called first-ies and that I've probably already been all up on that.