Folks, we have an emergency on our hands. It appears that Tara Reid either gave her left boob (delightfully named "Leftie") the day off, or she has gone missing. Usually Tara keeps her boobs under extremely tight supervision, as they are for some ungodly reason still her only claim to fame. But it appears that Leftie has gotten the idea that she can make it on her own, and has left the comfort of Tara Reid's booze-filled bosom. Perhaps it was the loving glow of the flashbulbs at this little incident that gave Leftie the inflated ego which led to this recent ugly turn of events. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding her leaving, we just want her to return - no questions asked. Have you seen Leftie?
Leftie has been known to enjoy being injected with silicone, being injected with drugs, and being injected with a penis along side her friend Rightie. If you see Leftie walking down the street, don't approach the lone shivering boobie. Simply take out your camera and pretend to take a picture of her. She will turn and smile at you with her one boob eye and then you can scoop her up and return her to her rightful owner. Hurry home, Leftie, and godspeed!