Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Fell in Love with a Coke

Here's a Coca-Cola commercial running in the UK featuring music from Detroit's own Jack White of The White Stripes. I'm posting this because I think it's cute, and it brings up a couple things I'd like to talk about. First, does the fact that Jack White is now whoring himself out for Coca-Cola enrage you? It certainly does not enrage me a bit. You wanna know why? If I were Jack White, I'd take out billboards on my ass if it paid the bills. Plus he's got that little half-British/half-Detroitish baby to feed so stop hatin', all y'all poor people. Which brings me to the second thing I'd like to discuss. Jack White's ass. Jack White is not attractive.

Like...not even a little. Yet, someone who I know repeatedly voices her desire to bed him. I say that she wouldn't even think that if he was just some sick, thin mustached, pasty dude walking down the street. She argues that she would. She finds him physically attractive. Say What?? (Completely unrelated side note: I hear that MTV is bringing back one of my favorite shows Say What? Karaoke!. Thanks for the tip Shannon!)

You're telling me that if you saw this coming at you, and he wasn't all famous, but just a regular dude, you'd think to yourself "Now THAT'S an attractive gentlemen!"? I just don't get it. But I know there are a lot of people that struggle with this very issue. Some celebrities are straight up sick, but you still find them attractive for some ungodly reason. I'm not saying you want to bone them because they are famous, but the fact that they are pretty good at what they do sort of overrides their appearance. For me, the sick dude that I would bone would be:

There. I said it. But if he was just some dude I saw walking down the street, would I find him attractive? Probably not - depending on how high I was. Now it's your turn. Which sick celebrity do you find yourself strangely attracted to? It's okay, this is the internets, no one knows who you are. Leave your shocking confessions, in the comments! Dudes, feel free to play along. I bet some of you have the unexplainable desire to bone Amy Winehouse. Why don't you go ahead and tell us why!

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jambles said...

i would bone jack white...i saw him back in the day at a couple of white stripes shows and he was not so bad then...and that is the image i have in my head. not to mention he seems to have a rage about him that i would not mind having taken out on me. in bed.

that being said, i would like to bone rza, from wu-tang. why i have this undeniable animal attraction to that man is beyond me. but i do, and i would bone him. oh man, would i bone him.

Anonymous said...

that video is a rip-off, go to my myspace and watch...


Girl #2 said...

A part of me feels like this is a complete insult to even suggest he belongs in this grouping, but I do love me some Phil Collins.

I don't care anymore.

ray said...

i would also bone jack white. and it would be dirty.

Anonymous said...

i want to bone conan o'brien. i know no one else finds him attractive and he kind of looks like a leprechaun (a tall leprechaun) but that is half the fun. and christina aguilera-- it would take too long to explain the attraction.


Anonymous said...

I would F Amy Winehouse before/after the drug problem. either or.

Tiny said...

Don Knotts.

Anonymous said...

1. jack white for sure. no question.
2. twiggy ramirez
3. andy dick
4. jack white some more forever all ways always.

Anonymous said...

I agree with clawdia, conan o brien for damn sure!
also, Xerxes from 300 (even though he looks like a drag queen)

Nacho said...

Jack does it for me every time and I'm a mad leather ac/dc fan !!

takashi said...

I think Jack White is crazy hot. Unfortunately most of my friends would agree with the creator of this article. But c'mon, you picked the two worst pictures ever. As hot as I find him I wouldn't touch him while he looked like that.

Other celebrities that not many people find hot aside from me are--

1. Billy Corgan
2. Jon Stewart. The man is too fucking witty.
3. Hugh Laurie (...as House >_>)
4. Giovanni Rabisi

Two & three are waaaay too old for me but fuck it, whatever XD

I think mainly though, if Jack couldn't play the guitar so well I wouldn't think he was hot. Just the way he wails on that guitar is insanely sexy D=

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