Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Sexy bloggin' with Jenna Jameson

If you are like me (a lady -in the finest sense of the word- who catches an occasional porn from time to time but isn't a dude or a gay who really KNOWS their porn) you may not have really gotten the big uproar about Jenna Jameson's drastic weight loss. When I first heard about it, I didn't understand..."So, she was a regular sized ho. Now, she's a skinny ho, the problem here being...???" But then I caught one of those soft core porn documentaries on HBO (followed by an on-demand viewing of that cathouse show. Airforce Amy - Don't pull a Jenna!) and the regular sized version of Jenna was featured and I finally understood what some of the fuss was about. It seems like Jenna is finally ready to address these issues, but where could the voice of a lonely porn star be heard? Why, on her Myspace blog, of course!

I feel like I need to address the weight rumors that have been swirling for a few months now. This saddens me... only because, everyone that is judging me... has absolutely NO idea what is happening in my life. People are hateful and accuse me of being a drug addict, or an anorexic. Does anyone seem to remember the fact that I am going through a nasty divorce? It has been weighing heavily on me. I worked extremely hard for years to secure my success, and i have been forced to fight for everything I busted my ass for. This has definitely affected my weight. It really hurts that my fans and everyone else) have taken it upon themselves to be so horrible, screaming eat a burger! or we want the old jenna back! I'm sure everyone out there has gone through tough times, and this is when I need support.
I wish I could enlighten everyone with what is exactly going on in my divorce and business, but I can't because of legal proceedings. I really hope everyone understands and remembers I am human, and I really need friends and the love and support right now.
Soon the divorce will be settled and I am hoping to come out unscathed, but my x is doing his best to make it hard. Thanks for all of your support, and remember I love you!

I didn't know divorces made you skinny! NEW DIET! People are gonna start getting divorced left and right if it makes you as waify as Jenna. Don't let Victoria Beckham catch wind of this. She would gladly drop David's glorious wang if it meant she could also drop another 20lbs, bringing her total weight to a cool 62lbs. Being skinny is the only way you'll get people to like you, WORLD. Being thin is so cool, even the porn stars are jumping on the thin-train. Porn Stars. People who have little-to-no standards, because there will always be work for the "one eyed midget that weighs 600lbs". I better start starving myself today. Whenever we start to feel bad after looking at countless pictures of [fill in your favorite female celebrity] and her perfect [fill in your favorite part], us regular people have always been able to say "Well, at least I look better than a porn star!". No more. The porn stars are invading. Pretty soon, all we'll be able to say is "Hey! At least I have the same STD as that fabulously skinny Jenna Jameson!"