Thursday, March 1, 2007

The REAL Big 3

No people, I don't mean GM, Ford and Daimler-Chrysler. I'm talking about the REAL Big 3 (RB3) -

Britney
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Paris
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Lindsay
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And sadly, I think Detroit's Big 3 (DB3) can stand to learn a thing or two from them bitches. Today, it was revealed that MSN has placed these chickens with their heads cut off on the top 10 list of "Women Who Make Us Cringe", placing them with the likes of devil incarnate, Ann Coulter
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and a bunch of old hags with short hair... trying to convince people they want to be housewives when they are probably just afraid to come out of the closet. (btw MSN Lifestyle thinks you're a retard and chose to advance the pictures for you - pause each frame if you want to read the story).

While these trashy starlets may make lots o people cringe, or merely give them an irreversible STD, one thing they have been that the DB3 hasn't been in quite a while is successful. If you think about it, RB3 and the DB3 have quite a lot in common. They are all known for being a little less sophisticated and classy than the Europeans and Asians even though they use and purchase a lot of their exports...and it seems none of them can go days without making headlines of their most recent messes. Somehow though, RB3 has still managed to make money and keep their stock rising. Even though all of them are well known for screwing people, this tactic has seemed to do a lot more for the RB3, while layoffs and payouts don't seem to be helping DB3 at all, except to be another reminder of why Michigan sucks. Not even things the DB3 sponsors, like the Autoshow, and its premiere of whats to come in the future could outdo Britney and her psychic ability to know to shave her head since that's what humans/aliens/scientologists will look like in the future anyway.

Yes, all, and especially my fellow Detroiters, its time we come to grips and realize that the torch has passed. The RB3 can crucify Jesus all over again and they would still generate more revenue and popularity, and they wouldn't have to merge with er bone an Asian like the DB3 might have to just to survive. It's time to give up on the DB3 ya'll and try to get the RB3 to relocate. Maybe we can convince Paris that Detroit has a big penis?? I mean, you know what they say.. eh,we wont go there..

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