The Smoking Gun has 12 pages of complaints written to CBS regarding Prince and his wang-shadow halftime show. Some of the best bits are as follows:
My children were watching and now I have to explain to them what a wet spot is on a cum covered sheet"
Well that shouldn't be too hard. My guess is that the "wet spot" you "saw" is cum.
"It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet...I am very offended and I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY."
Before you ask, yes...that was a serious complaint.
"I find it highly unacceptable to have a family watching a sporting event only to find Prince stroking, manipulating, and fondleing his guitar behind the curtain. This image only made him look extremely large which made the rest of us feel small, and unable to preform this evening.
Ok...quick backtrack, where was I on Superbowl Sunday? Was I so wasted that I wrote fake complaints to the FCC? This can't be real...yet it is!
"He is holding a guitar and in the shadow it looks as though he has a large penis with pitchfork on the end"
You didn't know Prince had a devil wang?
"It's pathetic when you can't keep porn out of the superbowl, just because 6% of the population is gay"
ONLY 6%? Gays, you better get on the TV and make some more gays! You're almost extinct!
"God knows, I didn't turn on the superbowl expecting to be tricked into watching gay sex!"
It's what we call an "added bonus", sir.
Now that I think about it, I did write a letter to CBS and never heard anything...
I want to thank you personally for having Prince on your halftime show. I am a woman, and for the first time in my life I think I experienced this thing called a "She-Bone" that I've been reading about so much on the internets. I don't care to explain it all here. Just...Thank you.