This week's issue of Life & Style details the most recent kidnapping threat posed to Brangelina. Brad & Angelina are at the very top of the A-List, so kidnapping threats are as common to them as STD's are to Paris Hilton, but this one just cut too deep. TMZ breaks it down:
A "credible" plot was "meticulously planned" by a gang that has executed kidnappings and extortion plots before. "They're highly skilled operatives with little regard for human life," says an insider close to Brangelina's security team. Though the couple have faced kidnapping threats before, this particular menace was deemed "credible and serious" – and was, apparently, foiled before any harm could come to the child.
This "menace" sounds like a pack of Ninjas to me. I'm glad Brangelina were able to outsmart these Ninjas, as this is generally impossible to do. If you value your life at all, I'm sure you've familiarized yourself with this site, which will be a great asset once the Ninjas unleash their reign of terror upon us. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. Security guards are already taking great measures to prepare themselves for the Ninja war. How you ask? By disguising themselves as men of the cloth, packing heat, and whipping it out at any perceived threat. How else would you explain this?