Britney Spears has reached a settlement with K-Fed and the former couple have officially divorced. The couple had a 5 hour meeting with their lawyers, and Kevin only walked away with $1 million. Wow. I'm terribly bored by this. Britney has been really boring and tame since her release from rehab, tricking us with exciting news about hospitalizations, only to find out she was just at the dentist. Britney is looking pretty good though, considering the fact that she is Britney Spears and genetically predisposed to looking like trash. I imagine her morning routine is like that Strangers with Candy episode, "The Last Temptation of Blank", in which her face desperately tries to reject her makeover every morning.
But sometimes Britney comes out victorious as she did today (i'm only talking about her face here, people, not the outfit). Way to go, Britney. But a word to other celebrities out there: If Britney isn't going to do anything crazy, one of you a-holes need to pick up the slack. We can only report on a new Beyonce video with a giant cat in it for so long. Someone needs to get arrested or pregnant - TODAY. Or better yet, get pregnant and then somehow have your unborn fetus get arrested! Lohan, you know I'm talking to you.