Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Calm Before the Storm

Brace yourselves, y'all. We had a relatively boring and uneventful the last almost 30 days, but that is all about to change. Britney Spears has left rehab. President Bush needs to use this as an excuse to bring back the terror alert system. We should all be on high, if not severe, alert during this highly unstable time. She may be making a quiet exit now, but I expect to see Britney go full on crazy again within the next day or two. Don't let the fact that K-Fed cancelled the first of two birthday parties for himself fool you into thinking that Britney is going to cool out anytime soon. She's been storing up her rage for the last few weeks, and is ready to unleash it on anyone, anytime, anywhere. If you see Britney, cross the street immediately. Do not look at her, do not talk to her, and for the love of god, if you value your life at all do not take a picture of her. She will tear out your jugular and headbutt you into submission before the camera goes click. We will keep you posted on any developments, but for now let's just try to remember the good times when Britney was just a prepubescent slut that dudes wanted to bone. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. BEST OF LUCK, BRITNEY!


Girl #1 said...

before you ask, that blur around Britney is lightning or something equally as fierce. It is in no way a reflection of my photoshop skills.

Bernhard said...

it is weird that so many successful artists and people in general go to rehab. they are like athletes using illegal anabolic steroids