Thursday, February 8, 2007

Valentine's Day Gift Guide!

Girl #1 here, and Valentine's Day is less than a week away. No worries, we here at Two Girls and a Gay have got you covered with some of the best gifts that you can get your lover, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, this year!

Gift #1: The Orgasmatron

Although the website assures us that "It's not what you're thinking", I'm only thinking about what disastrously wonderful things this machine could do to your nether regions. Gay, Straight, Single, Taken...who doesn't want this terrifying claw near their hoo-ha!

Gift #2: A STEAMY Dinner at White Castle

Get in now while the gettin's good! If you act now, and you live in one of 12 Mid-West/East Coast cities, you can reserve an extra special date for you and your extra special someone. Make a reservation at your local White Castle, and enjoy hostess seating, a candelit dinner, and your very own server! If you are too lazy to get your broke ass to White Castle, this year you can also pick up a Cupid's Crave Case and bring it home. Details Here.

Gift #3: Give Money to an Animal that is no longer Extinct

Why give a gift to someone you love, when you can give a gift to a bird that doesn't really need it anymore? While the Bald Eagle has been removed from the ESA's threatened species list, when is the last time you told a bird, a BALD bird at that, how much you loved it? That's what I thought. So, while you're off snacking on chocolates, the Bald Eagle is out, and...not being endangered anymore. So, what the fuck, man. Donate to the Bald Eagle, and while you're at it...I could use a little extra boost too. Donate to me. Press Release and details on donating HERE.

Gift #4: A Gun

Enough Said.

Gift #5: Singing Telegram

There is absolutely nothing uncomfortable, awkward, or strange about this guy, coming down to where you work, and singing you a song. Oh man, will you be the envy of all your co-workers!! This is a very good example of what it might feel like if you got a singing telegram at work. Imagine this dude is standing in front of you, singing...Ah, can you feel the love?

Well, I think that just about covers the best Valentines Day gifts of 2007. You are guaranteed to get laid if you give any of the 5 gifts listed above. Especially the gun. Happy Valentine's Day!!!


seancarter said...

Hey it was really nice to go through your post...thanks for sharing them with us...well i've posted a few3 ideas and suggestions and ideas over at my blog on Valentines Day as just drop by sometime and check out all that's there!!!

Anne said...

Why are the White Castles in Dayton not down w/ valentine's day! Sliders sound romantic as hell.

Anonymous said...

Virtual Memory sure is becoming cheaper these days. I'm curious as to when we will finally hit the ratio of $0.01 to 1 Gigabyte.

I wait for the day when I will finally be able to afford a 20 TB harddrive, lol. But for now I guess I will be happy with having a 16 GB Micro SD in my R4i.

(Posted using NetPostv2 for R4i Nintendo DS.)