Friday, February 23, 2007

Suri Cruise: A-Hole or Not-An-A-Hole?

I had previously stated that I was going to do Tyra Banks as this week's "Blank or Not-A-Blank". I was very excited about this, but as I was "researching" this topic, I found it difficult to come up with one word that meant "self-righteous, egotistical bitch". I also found that this was not a good choice due to the lack of debate. Everyone knows Tyra Banks is a self-righteous, egotistical bitch. She has never tried to hide that fact, she has actually built her empire based on that. The only two redeeming things about Tyra Banks is ANTM and the fact that she was in both "Higher Learning" and "Coyote Ugly" - two exceptionally great films.

No, I thought I would bring forth a challenge this week. Today, we decide the fate of a baby. I have the courage to ask the question that all of Hollywood has been murmuring about for the last 10 months; Is Suri Cruise an A-Hole? It's a simple question, really. Let's break it down:

Suri Cruise and Beck have something in common. They are both Scientologists by birth. Sucks to be them, because that makes them both - A-Holes

There is that faint possibility that Tom Cruise is not the father of Suri Cruise - and that Chris Klein is actually the father. You know Tom Cruise can't father anything. Not-An-A-Hole

Suri Cruise was being a total diva when she made the world wait 5 months before we saw pictures of her. Contrary to what you may have heard, that was her call. A-Hole

At 10 months, Suri Cruise has the kind of hair that most people only dream of. And while it seems like she may be a little too 'in my face' with said hair, I can't knock her just because I'm jealous. Not-An-A-Hole

Hmmm...see! This one is harder than it looks. And if you're scared to call a baby an A-Hole, don't be. It's actually quite liberating. I'm gonna call every baby I see this weekend an A-Hole just for fun, and I suggest you do the same. Unless it is your own personal baby...then maybe hold off. But this baby is fair game. Take that Katie Holmes, we're about to find out if your baby is an A-Hole! Leave your deep thoughts, in the comments!


Anne said...

I think she's just a victim of A-holes, so for now I'm going with Not-An-A-Hole. I reserve the right to change my mind, however.

That baby is SO ASIAN. She totally looks like my 1/4 japanese sister.

nic said...

Not-an-a-hole...BECAUSE SHE'S A FREAKIN' BABY!!!!! I agree with anne it's not her fault that her father is the kigs of all a-holes and probably enjoys them personally on a regular basis and not her fault that her beautiful mother is a brain washed manipulated fashion victim (of late).
But you're right... that hair is perfect!

ray said...

a-hole. raging a-hole.

Molly said...

suri is not an a-hole just because she came out looking so damn cute.

Anonymous said...

would it be really terrible to call a baby a cunt? i DO NOT appreciate having to wait a year after her birth before the bitch finally decided to grace the world with her presence. Suri's only redeeming quality is that she is as cute as a button. a cunty, asian button.

jigga the nigga

Mindy said...

I'm with Anne - not an a-hole. At least until she starts talking and we can really see her true colors.

Kate said...

That woman in the forefront totally looks like David Bowie.