Dear Music Television,
We've been through a lot in the last 20-some years. We've been through The Good (Yo! MTV Raps, Beavis & Butthead, MTV Fear, The Grind, The State, Sifl and Olly), The Bad (Newlyweds, Carson Daily, Jesse Camp, Yo Momma, Viva La Bam), and The Ugly. You obviously used to be much better than you are now, but that happens to a lot of things as they age. When I heard all the firing you were doing today I poured one out from my ecto-cooler, and remembered all the good times I had sneaking a peak of you when I wasn't allowed as a kid. Sucks to be all those kids who are getting fired today, who probably share a lot of the same happy memories of MTV that I do.
But then you did something that I find very hard to accept. YOU FIRED THE ENTIRE VH1 CLASSICS DEPARTMENT!?!?!?!!! How could you do this to me? The only thing left of the good old days of MTV, now possibly forever gone. Tell me you are replacing the staff...Gawker jokes about no longer being able to watch Taylor Dane videos...but that is honestly the first thing I thought of! How dare you MTV. HOW.DARE.YOU! I stood by your ass, watching all eleventy-billion seasons of the Real World and this is how you repay me? This agression will not stand, MTV.
I was saving this video for the next celebrity breakup, but now I'm gonna send it out to VH1 Classic. Some day, I just know that, love will lead you back to my heart. Keep hope alive, kids.
And you know what...here is a live version of the same song, because you know you want to watch them both. Don't lie. Beware, live version is aah-way louder than the crappy video above. Oh, I already miss the high quality of VH1 Classic. Single Tear.
Oh and for reals, sorry about losing your jobs. But I'm more sorry for my own loss. Deal with it.