Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Paris Hilton is anally violated with a chainsaw!

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Oh, woe is me. Can something ever go right for our beloved heiress? First, she was pleaded no contest to the drunk driving charge and got slapped on her dainty wrists with only 3 years of probation. On Tuesday, Parisexposed.com launched. For a monthly fee of 39.97$, ya'll can peruse items left by Paris in a storage unit. What had happened was, Paris' accountant forgot to pay for said storage unit and so all her business got sold to the highest bidder. The BEST PART you ask? Well it promises it has "has various shots of Hilton in "racy situations," and footage of her drinking with friends and using illegal substances." Her troll like publicist, who is magical for getting her famous, Eliot Mintz says, "We certainly are going to explore all of our legal options about this matter."

Why would you pay 40$, we have already seen all her lady parts for free. And like her wonky eye is worth your hard earned dollars. And for the illegal substances..I ask you, pray tell, what is she smoking in the picture above? Hmm hmm...?

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