Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Father to Daughter:

In Touch Weekly has posted a letter written by Crazy Daddy Lohan to his daughter, Crazy Daughter Lohan. You can go here if you care to read the whole thing. It's not as crazy as we usually get from him, so I'm a bit disappointed. But, here are a few highlights:

You have such a kind and loving heart, which is more valuable than the world has to offer. You know that, God knows that and so do I - I've seen it in so many tears we've shed on each others' shoulders, through the love, pain and while helping others. Remember the boy in the wheelchair while we attended ABC Primetime at Disneyland, or how about the little girl with cancer at Leigh Valley Hospital? We sow in tears but can reap in joy Lindsay.

And do you remember, dear Daughter, when I assaulted your uncle with a shoe? Good Times! I cried...cause I was laughing so hard! But seriously, when I get out, can we hook up a few more appearances with ABC Primetime? Man, would I like to give Diane Sawyer the business. And by business I mean, put my wang all up in there. You feelin' me on this one, daughter?

People, places and things are huge factors Lindsay, remember that.

They are also called nouns, Crazy Daddy Lohan.

My heart is with you sweetheart and so am I. Always was and always will be, to the very end. We are one soul inhabiting two bodies. Two in kind. I feel your love, the pain and your presence as I hope you do mine.


Yes, dear Daughter, it's almost as if I, Crazy Daddy Lohan was starring in such delightful films like "Herbie: Fully Loaded". Speaking of, I haven't received my royalty checks from starring in that, or any of your OUR other films. I will continue to assume that the check is in the mail.

I can't wait for the day to hold you, look in your eyes and reap the joy we sowed with our tears. Until then, know that God is with you, and so am I.
- My undying love, Daddy

Listen Crazy Daddy Lohan, referring to yourself as "Daddy" is creepy. In fact, you are pretty creepy all around. Man, it sure is going to be sweet when this crazy is let out of jail!

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