Didn't she almost have it all??? Things were really looking up for Whitney. She kicked Bobby to a different curb (hopefully this one will have a more reliable drug hook-up for him), she was having a wicked sweet garage sale, and she was starting to not resemble the cracked-out whore pictured above. But, surely all of these improvements will fall by the wayside when she hears that OSAMA BIN LADEN IS IN LOVE WITH HER! According to this source I've never heard of, so I'm sure it's very reputable, Osama had a sex slave, who is unveiling the mystery behind the man who is terrorizing our country. Osama doesn't want to topple our capitalist regime, he is only trying to get the attention of one special singer. Our Whitney. Shall we take this one step further (and undoubtedly too far) and say that 9/11 can now be interpreted as a school boy prank to get the attention of an unrequited love, such as pulling one's pigtails at recess?
WELL GUESS WHAT BIN-LADEN...WHITNEY HOUSTON IS AS AMERICAN AS APPLE-PIE, AND CRACK-COCAINE. She is most likely full of both, but regardless, you can't have her! I suggest that Whitney is kept in a bunker somewhere forever, until we win the war on terror. Which should be pretty soon now, right?