RUN BRITNEY, RUN! Wait...Britney, go back...put down the starbucks, there you go. Now, find some underwear, ok....good. Now, find your children....There's one on top of the microwave, and I think the other one is playing in the dishwasher. Got 'em? ok good...NOW RUN! Child Protective Services is on your ass! According to Page Six, CPS wants to have a good old fashioned sit down with the mother of 2, to talk about the hot mess that your life has turned into, all in a matter of weeks.
In fact, you are doing so bad Britney, that COURTNEY LOVE and JANICE DICKINSON have both chimed in to tell you what a bad mother you are! Junkie Courtney Love and whore Janice Dickinson are passing judgment on you, Brit! Screw the rest of the world, when these two take the moral high ground, you know you are doing something bad...
The two talked to Extra, and here is what they had to say about Britney and her partying ways:
'“Say what you will about me, and I'm not passing judgment, but when I had my daughter, I stayed home with her almost every night for the first year of her life,” Love said."'
See Brit, just get through first year, and then prop that baby up on the toilet and use it for leverage when you are shooting up between your toes!
Janice Dickinson says:
'“I mean, even I had give up my wild ways and buckle down and become a parent,” Dickinson insisted. “Paris is not the nanny; Britney should hang with the nannies and the children.”'
Or just...you know...don't have a nanny...??? The Janice Dickinson way of parenting: Hang with the nanny so it looks like you are raising your children.
Brit, you should take comfort in the fact that even Courtney Love couldn't fuck up her kid that much. Look how cute Love and Francis Bean looked backstage at the Billboard music awards:
Damn you Courtney Love! Like Britney, I prefer you trashy as well. Is it wrong that I am disappointed when stars seem to be doing well?
Pic Source via WireImage