Thursday, December 14, 2006

Girl #2's opinions, not predictions. (Suck it, Beyonce)

Keep in mind... These are not predictions. Because I have not seen all of the movies, and I am terrible at predicting just about anything.

Best Motion Picture: Drama:
BABEL
BOBBY
THE DEPARTED
LITTLE CHILDREN
THE QUEEN

THIS MOVIE RULED SO HARD.

Best Performance by an actress in a motion picture: Drama

PENELOPE CRUZ : VOLVER
JUDI DENCH : NOTES ON A SCANDAL
MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL : SHERRYBABY

HELEN MIRREN : THE QUEEN
KATE WINSLET : LITTLE CHILDREN


I probably shouldn't even say anything about this category, seeing that I haven't seen any of the movies. But I just love Maggie.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE - DRAMA

LEONARDO DICAPRIO : BLOOD DIAMOND
LEONARDO DICAPRIO : THE DEPARTED
PETER O'TOOLE : VENUS
WILL SMITH : THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
FOREST WHITAKER : THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

Girl #2 is probably right with her Peter O'Toole prediction. Leo's vote will be split, but I just loved him in the Departed. I just loved the Departed, though, so maybe my judgement is swayed. And also, I dislike Will Smith and movies that make me sob like a five-year-old, so the Pursuit of Happyness can suck it.

BEST MOTION PICTURE - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
DREAMGIRLS
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
THANK YOU FOR SMOKING


Please? Please, can't you just allow Borat to win all the awards it possibly can? Please? I know Dreamgirls will probably win, and I guess I can't bad mouth it because I haven't seen it yet, but... I am POSITIVE Dreamgirls won't make me laugh so hard that my face hurts and I have a painful cramp in my side, and therefore, it's just not going to compare to Borat.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

ANNETTE BENING : RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
TONI COLLETTE : LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
BEYONCE KNOWLES :DREAMGIRLS
MERYL STREEP : THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
RENEE ZELLWEGER : MISS POTTER

All I have to say is... F*** BEYONCE, I love Meryl. I wish I was related to Meryl. I wish she was at least my godmother. I wish she and I could walk around New York together while she gave me advice on life and love. Oh yeah, and I saw this movie three times in the theatre, and for a college girl on a budget, that really means something.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

SACHA BARON COHEN: BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
JOHNNY DEPP : PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
AARON ECKHART : THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
CHIWETEL EJIOFOR : KINKY BOOTS
WILL FERRELL : STRANGER THAN FICTION


Who is the Academy kidding? Johnny Depp: played out pirate Disney role. Aaron Eckhart: mediocre movie, mediocre performance. Chiwetel Ejiofor: who? what? gesundheit? Will Ferrell: interesting enough, but award winning? BORAT: This man didn't shower for weeks, peed on Trump Towers, humiliated himself, wrestled a fat man in the nude, rode around in an ice cream truck with a bear, put a bag over Pamela Anderson's head, and was sued at least three times. . . all for our entertainment, and also, in the end, promoting tolerance of other races in religions in the most ridiculous way possible. How could there be any questions here? How? Borat hands down.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

ADRIANA BARRAZA : BABEL
CATE BLANCHETT : NOTES ON A SCANDAL
EMILY BLUNT : THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
JENNIFER HUDSON : DREAMGIRLS
RINKO KIKUCHI : BABEL

Meh, whatever, I hear she's "fierce".

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

BEN AFFLECK : HOLLYWOODLAND
EDDIE MURPHY : DREAMGIRLS
JACK NICHOLSON : THE DEPARTED
BRAD PITT : BABEL
MARK WAHLBERG : THE DEPARTED

The man is a legend. The man also sat in an adult movie theatre with a shiny black strap-on, just to make my life complete. The man threw cocaine in the air and onto a hookers tits as he uttered "want some coke?", just so we KNEW that he was a legend. And also, it's Jack fucking Nicholson.


BEST DIRECTOR - MOTION PICTURE

CLINT EASTWOOD : FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS
CLINT EASTWOOD : LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
STEPHEN FREARS : THE QUEEN
ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ IÑÁRRITU :BABEL
MARTIN SCORSESE : THE DEPARTED

There should be one nominee in this category. They shouldn't have even bothered getting any one's hopes up. In fact, they should probably just mail him the award right now.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

24
BIG LOVE
GREY'S ANATOMY

HEROES
LOST

I love this show. This show makes my life easier. This show gives me something to look forward to during endless classes and 9 hour shifts at the mall. And yeah, Girl #1 is right. Heroes is for the gays.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

PATRICIA ARQUETTE : MEDIUM
EDIE FALCO : THE SOPRANOS
EVANGELINE LILLY : LOST
ELLEN POMPEO : GREY'S ANATOMY
KYRA SEDGWICK : THE CLOSER

She may be squinty, but she plays the "surgical intern with a chief of surgery that had an affair with her mom, who now as alzheimers, and the boyfriend who turns out to be her boss and then turns out to be married, and leaves her for his wife who also happens to be her boss and comes back to her and then leaves her and then comes back to her, and the dad that left because of her mother who now has alzheimers and the chief of surgery, and the sister that doesn't even know she exists but often visits the hospital due to her pregnancy" very, very well.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

PATRICK DEMPSEY : GREY'S ANATOMY

MICHAEL C. HALL : DEXTER
HUGH LAURIE : HOUSE
BILL PAXTON : BIG LOVE
KIEFER SUTHERLAND : 24

He plays the "disgruntled but charming brain surgeon with the wife that cheated on him with his best friend, causing him to move away, causing him to sleep with a girl he meets at a bar, who turns out to be one of his interns at the hospital he's starting work at, who he then dates and then leaves for his wife the pediatric surgeon who cheated on him, and then cheats on with his exgirlfriend/intern, who he then leaves, and gets back together with later after his best friend who slept with his wife comes to work at the hospital that he works at, all the while performing brain surgery on his chief of surgery, and his best friend/nemesis" very, very well.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
ENTOURAGE
THE OFFICE
UGLY BETTY
WEEDS


This show is so well written and so well thought out and entertaining and dramatic and everything that Entourage isn't and should be. Oh, and the acting is superb, the dialogue is realistic and every bit as hilarious as every Ugly Betty episode and every Desperate Housewives episode combined. The Office is pretty good though.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES -COMEDY OR MUSICAL

MARCIA CROSS : DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
AMERICA FERRERA : UGLY BETTY
FELICITY HUFFMAN : DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS : THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
MARY-LOUISE PARKER : WEEDS


Again, acting/dialogue superb. She is amazingly subdued and likeable in a role that any other actress would take over the top and make hateable.



BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

ALEC BALDWIN : 30 ROCK
ZACH BRAFF : SCRUBS
STEVE CARRELL : THE OFFICE
JASON LEE : MY NAME IS EARL
TONY SHALHOUB : MONK

As long as Zach Braff doesn't win, I don't care.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

EMILY BLUNT : GIDEON'S DAUGHTER
TONI COLLETTE : TSUNAMI, THE AFTERMATH
KATHERINE HEIGL : GREY'S ANATOMY
SARAH PAULSON : STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP
ELIZABETH PERKINS : WEEDS

Ahhhhh... the scene where she finds her fiance, Denny, dead after she went to extreme lengths to get him a new heart makes me SOB, literally. Every single time I watch it, I cry like a baby. She is so moving. I can't even get over how far she's come since "My Father the Hero". But I do have to say, Elizabeth Perkins deserves it just as much as Katherine.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

THOMAS HADEN CHURCH : BROKEN TRAIL
JEREMY IRONS : ELIZABETH I
JUSTIN KIRK : WEEDS
MASI OKA : HEROES
JEREMY PIVEN : ENTEOURAGE

America, watch out for this guy. Seriously. Justin Kirk is the most amazing actor I've noticed in a long time. He delivers long, complicated dialogue with ease and some how makes it the funniest thing you've ever heard that you can't repeat. Every word that comes out of his mouth puts Jeremy Piven to shame, and I LOVE Jeremy Piven.

Well that's it I guess. I cut out a lot of the categories because they made me bored. I hope people read this, seeing as it took me half an hour to write. But I guess, I don't care, it gave me something to do while I nursed my hangover.

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