Dear LiLo

"They're all whores, they're all whores . . . xcept for some obviously! So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we're talkin' like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cunts now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."

Will someone please for the love of Allah, take away her blackberry and terminate her t-mobile account? LaLohan is allegedly learning these stripper moves for her next box office flop I Know Who Killed Me. Omg. I just cant handle this mess anymore.