Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Bono wants to save the world...AGAIN.



When I think of the biggest douchebags* in the entertainment industry...many, MANY names come to mind. Scott Stapp, Brandon Davis, Dr. Phil, Vincent Gallo, Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, Joe Simpson, Howard K. Stern, Paris & Perez Hilton, Isiah Washington, Kevin Federline, JARED LETO, Brett Ratner, Kimora Lee Simmons, Pete Wentz, Panic at the Disco (all of them), Michael Richards, Tony Little, Mel Gibson, I pretty much agree with anyone Best Week Ever nominates for their daily douche, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Lane Garrison, Cameron Diaz, David Miscavige, Chad Michael Murray, Bette Midler, Brad Renfro, Dakota Fanning, Suri Cruise, Will Smith, Denise Richards, Charlie Sheen, Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, All of the San Antonio Spurs...

The list can go on and on, people...but i think you get the point.

However, if I had to name a King Douche...it would be, without a doubt, BONO. Now that pretentious, self-righteous, over-hyped piece of shit is in the news again (because you know he gets nervous if a day goes by and no one is mentioning what a great humanitarian he is...), this time, because he is offering the father of Madonna's African baby a job. The Sun reports:

"The U2 frontman thinks Yohane would fit in well at wife Ali Hewson’s ethical clothing label, Edun, where she is the creative head.

He said: 'We’re trying to get jobs to Africa then people will be able to keep their children.'"

Maybe, Bono...but Madonna isn't the only one to try to adopt a child from Africa (and isn't adoption a humanitarian act in itself? Madonna can certainly be a douche as well...but, rarely is anyone a bigger douche than Bono). But now, since there is all this press surrounding Madonna's adoption, Bono of course feels the need to chime in. "ME TOO GUYS! I'M BONO REMEMBER! I LOVE AFRICA TOO! I LOVE ANYTHIING THAT MAKES ME LOOK BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE! U2 IS THE GREATEST BAND IN THE WORLD!"

...This was a bad choice to start the day. Now I'm all angry. Expect more unwarranted rage-fueled rants from me today. More than usual, anyway.

*Sorry if you think the word "douchebag" is over-used. Did you ever take a second to think about what a douchebag really is? Think about it...it's a pretty accurate word to describe certain people, no?

12 comments:

Nichole said...

You know of the undying love I have for you Girl#1, BUT I totally disagree with your King Douche choice. It may not be "cool" for me to say that, but I'm way more down with a fella for being in the news everyday for helping out/advocating for/ spending his own money on those that need a hand way more than someone who's in the news everyday for showing her vag/neglecting her kids/and spending her money on $15 dollar drinks or bottles of crystal or whatever the hell it is that she consumes every night at Hyde. Come on! It's called integrity (Zooropa aside!). Oprah (who I also enjoy) can't pinch a loaf without being in the news and you don't have a problem with her and her generous ways. Hmmm?

Molly said...

i love the word "douchebag." and i agree with you that Bono is Supreme Douchebag of the Known World.
Cheers!

Sher said...

Couldn't agree with Nichole more! Perhaps your attitude towards Bono is really a result of the fact that you aren't old enough to really have embraced Bono and U2 when they were really ground-breaking and cool (Clearly before the Zoo TV phase).

I believe that Bono is truly altruistic. It becomes a lot easier to doubt people's sincerity when they are richer than God and wear ridiculous sunglasses that scream "hey look at me, my sunglass are really big", but, too me, he is an example of someone that really cares about the poor people of the world. He is willing to spend large amounts of his own money and time meeting with people with true power to make change.

His music details his political interests and concerns and his latest and largest crusade is just the culmination of his life's work. I'll be interested to see what's next.

At the very least, there is a piece of me that needs to believe that "douchebags" don't get nominated for Nobel Peace Prizes.

jambles said...

i hate bono. i think he is a douchebag. i think he is a jerk. if i could punch anyone in the face i would punch bono. number one is bono and number two is ann coulter. U2 has about four really good songs and after those four songs i would rather be listening to my dad singing merle haggard. and i am not a huge fan of either my dad or merle haggard. bono sucks. and i say this as a staunch supporter of the united nations. i even have a t-shirt. fuckers.

jambles said...

and yes. douches do get nominated for nobel peace prizes. have you ever met john hume? he is a total douche.

Matthew said...

I just looked this up...
n a 1986 interview with Rolling Stone magazine Bono explained that he was motivated to become involved in social and political causes by seeing one of the benefit shows staged by Monty Python's John Cleese and producer Martin Lewis for human rights organization Amnesty International in 1979. "I saw 'The Secret Policeman's Ball' and it became a part of me. It sowed a seed..." The seed led to Bono and U2 to perform on Amnesty's Conspiracy Of Hope tour of the United States in 1986 alongside Sting, who was one of the Secret Policeman's Ball performers Bono had seen. It also led Bono to perform in the Band Aid and Live Aid projects organized by Bob Geldof - another Secret Policeman's Ball performer - with whom Bono later collaborated to organize the 2005 Live 8 project. Bono's commitment to Amnesty has endured, and when U2 contributed a live performance to Amnesty's 2001 benefit, Bono introduced the song by referring to "The Secret Policeman's Ball - which is a mysterious and extraordinary event that certainly changed my life..."
In 1984, Bono sang on the Band Aid single "Do They Know it's Christmas?/Feed the World" (a role that was reprised on the 2004 Band Aid 20 single of the same name). He also performed at Live Aid (in 1985) and Live 8 (in 2005) benefit concerts. Since 1999, he has become increasingly involved in campaigning for third-world debt relief and raising awareness of the plight of Africa.
In March 2002, Bono travelled to the White House for a special private meeting with President George W. Bush, who had just unveiled a $5 billion aid package for the world's poorest countries that respect human rights. He also accompanied the President for a speech on the White House lawn. He stated, "This is an important first step, and a serious and impressive new level of commitment. ... This must happen urgently, because this is a crisis." [5]
In May 2002, Bono took US Treasury Secretary Paul H. O'Neill on a four-country tour of Africa. Later in that year, Bono set up an organization called "DATA", which stands for Debt, AIDS, Trade in Africa, to raise awareness about Africa's debts, the spread of AIDS, and trade rules that hurt the continent's poor citizens.


Bono meets Brazil's President, Lula da Silva about world poverty eradication.
Bono made a speech during the inauguration of Paul Martin as Canada's prime minister, who in turn pledged to help with the global crisis. In 2005, at a time that some claimed Martin was facing "political destruction", Bono spoke on CBC Radio "bashing" Martin for being slow at increasing Canada's foreign aid. A spokesperson for the Prime Minister responded by pointing out that the budget has seen an 8% increase to aid and that "Rather than set an artificial deadline, the prime minister has focused on real increases measured in real dollars each and every year."[6]
In early 2005, Bono, his wife Ali Hewson, and New York-based Irish fashion designer Rogan Gregory launched the socially conscious line EDUN in an attempt to shift the focus in Africa from aid to trade. EDUN's goal is to use factories in Africa, South America, and India that provide fair wages to workers and practice good business ethics to create a business model that will encourage investment in developing nations. [7]
Before Paul Wolfowitz was chosen to replace James Wolfensohn as president of the World Bank, some advocated Bono for the position. United States Secretary of the Treasury John Snow said about Bono on the ABC news talk program This Week: "He's somebody I admire. He does a lot of good in this world of economic development." The odds of his selection process, which is controlled by member governments, were poor.[citation needed]
On 26 April 2004 Bono was named influential in the May special issue of TIMEs 100 Most Influential People".
On 18 December 2005, Bono was named by Time as a Person of the Year along with Bill and Melinda Gates.
On 2 February 2006 Bono spoke in advance of United States President George W. Bush at the 54th Annual National Prayer Breakfast, held at the Hilton Washington Hotel. In a speech peppered with biblical references, Bono encouraged the care of the socially and economically depressed. His comments included a call for an extra 1% "tithe" of the United States' national budget. He brought his Christian views into harmony with other faiths by noting that Christian, Jewish, and Muslim writings all call for the care of the widow, orphan, and stranger. Bono continued by saying much work is left to be done to be a part of God's ongoing purposes.[8]
In May, Bono became Editor of The Independent newspaper for a day to assist the (RED) charity (Tuesday 16 May 2006).[citation needed]
In February 2003, 2005 & 2006, Bono was a nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize. [9] [10] [11] In 2004 he was awarded the Pablo Neruda International Presidential Medal of Honour from the Government of Chile, one of only 100 recipients [12]

Nichole said...

OhMiGawd...he's such a douchebag!!

Anonymous said...

Haha! Yup, Bono is a giant douche. South Park had the right idea calling him a huge piece of crap. In fact, South Park should re-shoot "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" episode with Bono beating everyone-- John Edward and Giant Douche included.

I really hate overachieving wanks like Bono who can't seem to drown themselves enough in other people's adulation. I mean, can you BE any more self-aware?!

If he really wanted to save Africa he'd do what Warren Buffett did and give a huge chunk of his fortune, possibly to find a cure for AIDS. Even better, he can offer himself to the Africans as food-- that way they'd be well fed with that huge head of his.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great artist. U2 was a totally ace band back when they recorded Achtung Baby, but Bono's teeming smugness began to ruin it for me. I turned to New Order instead.

Ya, this feels good venting out my anger against that sunglass-wearing, cowboy-hat pimping, KBE-having motherfucker.

BONO IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHE IN THE UNIVERSE!!!

Anonymous said...

You're either just jealous or simply stupid.

angie said...

i dont mind how pretentous he can be but if he helps to 1 only child...isnt it a good act?...Artist are sometimes funny but i dont doubt his good intentions...lets look at the results not the ways...

Anonymous said...

What crap all of you spew, Africa this, Africa that. What has Africa ever produced besides disease, cannibalism and misery? In fact the only thing they produce is suffering, which stupid white people (have you ever heard of chinese or arab charities for Africa?) feel guity about and throw money at, just so that they can feel good about themselves, and tell others how moral they are.

A better plan for Bono would be to use all of hismoney to help sterilize 90% of the populations in starving villages. Gving money to Africa without sterilizing the populace is like taking money and tossing it into a bottomless pit.

Bono is not a pushy douchebag, he is a 110% overbearing cunt.

Cialis Online said...

for that reason I admired Bono, he always has fought for all kind of noble causes, the earth conservation, poverty, illness and diseases, anyway anything that make suffer the human being, Bono will be there to help.