HS: What is Paris Hilton like?
TF: She's a piece of sh-t. The people at SNL were like maybe she'll be fun, maybe she won't take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She's unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close.
HS: Was she bad on SNL, was she hard to deal with?
TF: She was awful. People never come in and say "I'm not doing that." So, this guy Jim Downey wrote a really really funny sketch, it was supposed to be Lorne Michaels just finding out that she had a sex tape and telling her she couldn't host the show because SNL has standards... So she was like "I'm not doing it!" and refused to come out of her dressing room. Also, you would walk down the hall and find what just looked like nasty wads of Barbie hair on the stairs... Her hair is like a Fraggle.
HS: Did she give you ideas for sketches?
TF: Yeah, she wanted to make fun of all the girls she hates. She was like "I want to play Jessica Simpson, I hate her." She would come in the room and say "you should do a show about Jessica Simpson because she's fat."
HS: What was the bet you guys had going about her?
TF: The cast had a bet if she would ask anyone on the cast anything about themselves, you know like how are you? where are you from? anything. I think Seth Meyers won because at one point, she asked him if Maya Rudolf was Italian.
I love and admire Tina Fey and this article only solidifies my hatred for Paris Hilton. I guess I had this idea that she would have some dry, cynical sort of humor behind all of the photo shoots and cat fights, and now I'm finding out that she's just as vapid and disgusting as she appears. And now I'm imagining thousands of people with torches in hand, beating down her palace door with a giant log, prepared for lynching. Don't ask me why.