YOU HAVE ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS!
I BEG YOU.
CALL KEN PAVES NOW.
This is so exhausting.
One second I'm literally standing on my couch, jumping up and down while watching you on David Letterman.
Then, I'm pumping my fists in the air as I hear the news of your divorce.
Laughing my ass off at that Much Music video of Kevin getting the news via text message.
And now what?
A nappy weave, Britney?
Hanging out with Paris Hilton, Britney?
Taking your pants off in public WHILE hanging out with Paris Hilton, Britney?
Wearing a TIE during this debauchle?
You were doing so good before all of this.
I am groveling now.
Dump the walking venereal disease.
Call Ken Paves. His weaves look tres chic.
with so much love,
Girl # 2