Friday, December 29, 2006

Well...Mike Tyson's mug shot sure is...something!



I don't really know what to think when I look at this. At first glance, I appreciate the fact that his tongue is out...I'd like to believe that the photographer (is that what they are called? Mug-Shot taker?) was dangling the recently confiscated bag of cocaine in front of Tyson to elicit such a response, kind of like the way a child responds to a toy, or to coercion from its mother. Tyson responds to cocaine by panting like a dog. Well played, Tyson. Although I would like to see him looking a little more mean and crazed, and a little less...dependant? I don't know. Your thoughts?

Source.

Mike Tyson acts like a gentlemen...



This is a shame...Mike Tyson was arrested this morning in Arizona for DUI and possession of cocaine. That's fine, the sad part is that "police say Tyson was coopertive and acted like a gentleman". What? This is Mike Tyson! Bite an ear or soemthing, man! This was (most likely) the last celebrity run in with the law that we'll have in '06, and Tyson goes out like a punk. It's no wonder I, in the form of Little Mac, whooped your ass in punch out. Ok, that's a lie, I've never actually beat that game. Damn you Tyson! Foiled again! Let's hope the mug shot is fierce and old-Tyson-like.

Source

Julia Roberts is preggers, and I don't give a crap.



I've been waiting for Julia Roberts to do something, just so I can talk about how much I hate her, and see how many people I enrage. Somehow, she became America's Sweetheart (no pun intended, as she was in a pretty shitty movie by the same name) by playing a slut. Everyone loves her and I find her to be horribly annoying. And her trap is huge too, and I apparently have a problem with that. The only good thing about Julia Roberts being pregnant again is that I wont have to see her for another 9+ months. So keep doing whatever it is that keeps you away from movies, Julia...and lets hope that you parent better than you act. Aaaah-zing!

Source

Thursday, December 28, 2006

And the winner for worst bikini of 2006...

There sure was a lot of bikini wearing in '06. And I bet you thought that Scarlett Johansson would win the coveted TGG's first annual "Worst Bikini of the Year" award. Well, m'friends, feast your eyes upon the wonder and beauty of...



Yeeeeeaaaah! Who is that, you ask? What creature could think that a high-wasted thong bikini would be a good idea? It must be some D-List celeb, like Melissa Joan Hart or Melissa Rivers, right???



Whhhhhaaaaaa? What's that you say? CHARLIZE THERON?! You lie!



My god...that really IS Charlize Theron. Well, that's just too bad. Better luck next year, Scarlett. You almost had it this year. But when Charlize Theron's ass looks like a giant Thanksgiving turkey, you kinda have to give her an award...

Thanks ICYDK!

Meg Ryan, also looking good!



Young Hollywood should take a lesson from their elders. Meg Ryan knows how to keep it classy, and how to keep it fun! Check it out! And by it, I mean her! Looking good, Meg!

I really hate Paris Hilton



Please note, that this is not the same kind of hate i feel when I look at Jessica Biel in a bikini. That kind of hate is seething jealousy. This kind of hate is the deep-rooted, murderous kind. Just looking at a picture of Paris Hilton, doing anything, makes me want to smash my face in. I don't understand her...I only want to kill her. Here is a picture of her wondering what it might be like to have boobs:



Thanks Dlisted???? Click the link if you really want to see more pictures of Paris and her slutty friend in Australia.

SOCCER ORGY!



These 3 dudes are on a soccer team. They also boned some chick and it's all on tape! Click here to watch the video. And by the way, the website that is hosting the video is www.totallynsfw.com. Needless to say, this is pretty much straight up porn, so maybe wait to get home before you watch it. Now, you probably won't believe me, but I haven't watched the whole thing. I clicked on it and said "Oh my god...it's porn!" and then closed it, but apparently there are friends that are fully clothed and just hanging out in the room, and one of them gives a thumbs up. It's always good to know that you are doing something right. I wish I could have a friend in the room watching me bone, that way if I was ever unsure of something, I could just look to my friend and either get a thumbs up, or a thumbs down. That's what friends are for, right?

Also, if you do watch it, The Sun would like to know if you recognize the girl. If you are the blue-haired slut getting soccer wang shoved in all of your openings, please be a doll and call: 020 7782 4100.

Thanks ONTD!

Bitch wants some (more) money!



"Who the hell is that?", is what you are probably asking yourself right now. Well crazy on the left is Tim Burton, and Tits McGee on the right is his "model, actress, artist, writer and photographer" ex-girlfriend Lisa Marie (funny, she does all that crap and still I've never heard of her). They were together for 10 years or so, and their relationship ended in 2001. Now she wants some more money, and is seeking PALIMONY. I didn't know there was such a thing as palimony, so I looked it up on Wikipedia. Turns out, a bunch of celebrities like to sue each other when they are not married, break up, and still want some money. The only time I think this is acceptable is when you gays want to do it. Any other time, I find it to be pretty much ridiculous...

According to Tits McGee, Tim Burton agreed to "financially support her for the rest of her life", and TMZ is reporting that "She alleges that her financial advisors, her lawyer and her friend, Cherry Vanilla, all worked with Burton to make her feel as if she didn't have a case against Burton for lifetime support. According to her suit, 'They unconscionably played upon Plaintiff's emotional weakness by continually telling her that she was facing poverty unless she entered into a settlement with Burton on terms acceptable to Burton.'"

That's right. She faced POVERTY. I guess I can kind of see that, because choosing to be either a model OR an actress OR an artist OR a writer OR a photographer is not a lucrative profession on its own. But I have to believe that if you combine all 5 you MUST be able to make a little bit of money. Oh, and she got $2.7 million dollars and an apartment. All I got from an ex was $10 and a note telling me to "buy myself something pretty". Oh, and the clap. Then someone told me that I wasn't in a relationship with those men, I was doing something called "Prostitution". I had never heard that word before either, so I looked it up on Wikipedia. Sure enough, I'm a whore.

Can someone please explain...



...How this is fashionable? From the waist down, Posh is looking alright. But then your eyes move upward...the shirt, the lipstick, the five-head, the hair...yikes. Then you look to the left, where normally you see a brutally hot Beckham. Apparently, someone erroneously told him that the skinny tie was cool, and it was made even better with leather driving gloves. Sick. Can someone please explain how these two were allowed to leave the house looking like this? I mean...it's better than most Hollywood ho's, but it still ain't good.

Source.

England has a shitty taste in music



A recent poll of the top 500 songs in the UK listed Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" as the nation's favorite song...OF ALL TIME. Yeah...that's right. ALL TIME. In the history of music, they picked this shitty buzzkill of a song as #1. Who is they? I don't know. What are the other songs on the list?

2. Goo Goo Dolls - "Iris"
3. U2 - "One"
4. Oasis - "Wonderwall"

What are some others on the list? I don't know. Why don't I know? Because this story is brought to you by The Sun. Go ahead, click on the link for once. You'll see the whole breaking story. Jesus Christ. Can we just have new years already so we can get back to the regular world of celebrity gossip???

And, for the record, the greatest song of all time is obviously "Rump Shaker" by Wreckx-N-Effect. Where was this on the Pitchfork list of 100 Awesome Music Videos?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wow...the world of celebrity is really slowing down this week...While I won't completely stop blogging, there may not be much on here until after the new year, as celebrities like to keep a low-profile, before they go balls to the wall, completely shithouse crazy on the 31st. While I will bide my time until that faithful day, I'd like to take this opprotunity to say thanks for reading! We at TGG hope your new years is just as good, if not better, than the time this baby is having:

Tara Reid is looking good!



Tara, you were doing much better with clothes on. You were starting to look...dare I say, classy? Thank you for smacking some sense into me with that lumpy ass of yours. Ew...so was I just smacked by Tara Reid's ass? I better get tested...

Source.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

My favorite list so far...

Concrete Loop has put together a list of the top 15 HAM's (that's Hot-Ass-Messes) of the year. Yep, I pretty much agree with that list...although, I'd like to add some to the list:

Carrie Fisher


Michelle Rodriguez:


and who can forget Bai Ling, who never disappoints in this category:


Oh what the hell...there's nothing else to "report" so I'll throw in one more, just to piss some people off:

Pete Wentz (although he's just more of a dumbass then a hot mess, although he did have a hot mess moment in March when the pictures of him pulling on his wang to make it look bigger leaked onto the internet)



Don't forget to click on the Concrete Loop link at the top of the post to see their list!

Keith Urban used to bone some slut



Some slut named Amanda Wyatt said that she used to do coke and do sex with Keith Urban while he was dating and engaged to Nicole Kidman. She lived in his house in Nashville, did drugs with him, ate delicious chocolate M & M's in bed, and all sorts of fun stuff before he got married to Nicole. Their drug-fueled affair continued until October, and then Urban checked himself into rehab.

Why can't Nicole Kidman find a good man? First, crazy Scientologist Tom Cruise...and now this? I feel bad for the scrawny little Aussie. And feeling bad for celebrities is not in my nature. But, a little voice inside me is screaming the praises of Amanda Wyatt...only because if I was having a drug-fueled affair with a celebrity, and the only thing he gave me was M & M's...you better believe that I would be telling the whole world every little fucked up thing about him. M & M's, man? You have millions and I get little candy coated chocolates? I don't think so. Still...maybe some good will come out of this. Maybe Nicole will binge on Big Mac's and Godiva chocolates and gain a whopping 5 lbs, bringing her total weight to a solid 93 lbs. Bitch is skinny.

Source.

R.I.P.



James Brown passed away Christmas morning. Le sad. James Brown ruled. Here is a vintage clip of him ruling, and it will hopefully wake your asses up, because if you are like me, you are exhausted from a weekend full of family and travel and food. I need to get up...get on up...but all I want to do is go back to bed...Peace out James.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Mary J. does something that does not annoy me



2006 really was a great year for Mary J. Blige. It is really unfortunate that a girl I used to work with played "Without You" on repeat for 8 hours every day, because now, I kinda hate Mary. It's not her fault...if you haven't noticed yet, I have a great, all-encompassing sense of unwarranted anger, that can only be overpowered by cuteness. Take this commercial for example. That little girl is totally cute, and the commercial also reminds me of the great Mary songs that I used to love...specifically, Not gon' cry. (EEE-lev-uhn years...) Anyway, I thought I'd try to calm my general anger for the day since we are going into a holiday weekend. Enjoy!

Thanks Crunk & Disorderly.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

I love gays!



It's a war of the gays, y'all. Reichen Lehm-whatever the shit his name is (Lance Bass' boyfriend) is taking it to a certain fatty of a blogger, Perez Hilton. It all started here. Reichen is pissed that Perez said that he made out with some dude, because contrary to popular belief, he and Lance are still going strong. Perez fired back with basically a "F U FAG OMG I DO WHAT I WANT" response, to which Reichen is now threatening legal action. Go here to read the full blog from Reichen, which also answers the age old question; Reichen, top or bottom?

For the love of god, take the fatty out. Perez got lucky by weaseling his way into the hollywood circle. How did he do it? By picking the most idiotic celebrity to idolize, the only one who is dumb enough to let a gossip blogger into her world, Paris Hilton. Now he is making 6 figures by lying on his blog, and drawing cum and coke on pictures of celebrities with MS Paint. Dude, if you're going to make cum, put a little effort into it. If my experience has taught me anything, it's not just some dots on the chin. Everytime I've been blasted in the face, that shit's all up in my hair, on the ceiling, everywhere. It's called "realistic interpretation", Perez. Put down the doughnut and really try to make it believable. WE ALL KNOW how many times you've gotten splooged in the face...

U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi

The war of the uglies has just begun. Rosie O’Donnell went off on Donald Trump because he let off Miss nastrytrashy Miss USA off so easily. This was his response…..



What the hell? Who told Donald Trump it was a good idea to go off on Rosie O’donnell like that? He sounds like a fifth grader just shouting insults at the butch dyke. Like honestly, how does this dude have billions and the worse come over, ever. I like to call it being delusional. Donald, you’re the ugly one.

Diddy had twins!



This is what the mother of Diddy's twins looks like. What a trap on that one! If Kim Porter's mouth is that large...you know her vagina is like a gaping black hole. It's a wonder that the two twin girls, only weighing around 5lbs. each, crawled out of-what I can only imagine to be-the world's largest vag-hole. I'd like to congratulate Kim Porter for ensuring she will be paid for the rest of her life by having not one, but two of Diddy’s kids! Way to go, girl! Even when he cheats on you and leaves you (which he will, it's Diddy, come on) you will have a nice steady check in the mail every month.

Kirsten tries to scientifically prove that her "shit don't stink"



Kirsten Dunst annoys the shit out of me. A lot of straight dudes don't understand why most ladies, and gays, want to punch this stupid bitch in the face. That's because straight-dudes want to bone Kirsten Dunst, and if they had it their way, they'd probably put their wang right in between her boobs (which should be covered by a bra, but generally are not) and titty-fuck her until she was actually good in a movie (and that might take a while...). Anyway, this is for the rest of us, who actually hate her. Kirsten Dunst has some problem with her shit, and she's not ashamed of it. No, she has taken her Comprehensive Digestive Stool Analysis tool out of the bag and is proudly showing the world. I hope part of this Stool Analysis requires that she touches her own poo. And then she has to eat it. Kirsten Dunst eats poo.

Heidi Klum hides Jr. KKK member in jacket



Heidi Klum is German, and therefore racist. Which explains why her baby is dressed up like a member of the KKK. It does not explain, however, why she has shoved this adorable ball of hate in her jacket. I know it's cold Heidi, but there are better ways of keeping your baby warm. I wouldn't know what those are necessarily, because I don't have kids, and if I did, I'd probably just toss 'em in the microwave and hit the potato button. Mmmmmm...potato.

Drugs, Drugs the magical mix, the more you eat, the more you____?

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According to Star Magazine - a tsunami of drug use has taken Hollywood by storm. Celebrities are trying any and every combination; with cocaine, xanax, adderall, ecstasy, heroin, oxycontin, and crystal meth readily available. And Lindsay Lohan's suite at the Chateau Marmont is a hotbed of secret drug parties!

Okay obviously, this was written by a non drug user. Mixing pills are bad. If you're gonna roll, don't stake an upper, it's going to ruin the roll, duh. Why would any take adderall when there is coke? Adderall is simply coke, but less extreme, I like to call it diet coke. Only an idiot would speedball, drugs are not worth death. Speedballing is when you taken an upper and a downer causing your heart to beat fast then slow, you really don't want it to be dippin' low. I guess, I'll pass on my knowledge--

Downers: xanax, heroin, oxycontin, alcohol, pot
Uppers: Coke, adderall, meth (tina)

Ecstasy is an all arounder it can be an upper or a downer. But for the most part uppers will kill your roll while downers seem to put it on pause then you roll again.

So now you've taken drug 101, don't believe everything all the bloggers and tabloids be tellin' ya. Take it from a seasoned pro. Merry XMAS Ya'll.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Jessica left Nick for this?

Here's a nekkid Bam Margera of Jack Ass Fame. I thought it'd be bigger. But oh well, it's not at full salute. Click the pic for the larger uncensored version.

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Merry Christmas.



I'm sorry that I haven't been posting as of late. Here's a story:

Last night my teeth/jaw/head hurt so bad that I couldn't sleep. I waited until 8 am, called the dentist, made an appointment. I went to the dentist, where he informed me that I am so stressed out that I am GRINDING MY TEETH DOWN. He had to reshape my teeth with this thing that made smoke come out of my mouth. Oh, and I have to get a bite guard and wear it to sleep every night, so I'll never be sexy again. On top of being stressed, I'm going to die alone, wearing a retainer.

So yeah, be nice to your cashiers. They are humans. Humans with classes and finals and parties and hangovers. Humans that like conversations about other things than sweaters and coupons.

love, girl #2

Update: I'm not stressed, I just need a root canal. (Free drugs?)

Please don't yell at me, Mr. T!!!



Act now, folks! If you hurry, you can have Mr. T or Dennis Hopper guide you through the mean streets of wherever on your fancy new GPS system! I wonder if I can program mine to just recite lines from Blue Velvet. Dennis Hopper could say "Daddy wants to FUCK...please turn left".

We apologize for the lack of posts...



TGG would like to say, sorry we suck, and please don't leave us! Girl #1 is busy with a new job and a new boyfriend (see above). I'm learning all about Scientology and it's super fun! I will try to post more. Girl #2 is slaving away in retail hell. She is ringing your bitch asses up, so give her a break. The Gay is twirling somewhere, like all you gays do. Stay with us through the holidays, and we promise to keep blogging!!!

FAKE PURSES, FAKE BITCHES.

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You'd think with all the money they had, these high class whores would buy real bags. But take it from me, an LV fanatic, these bags are as real as Paris's weave. Ugh. SO Disgusted.

I'm Missin You Like Candy.....

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Everyone should download the Wade Robson remix of "candy" by Mandy Moore. It totally Rules. CariDee!!!! She totally was meant to be America's Next Top Model. This is her cover for February's Seventeen. She rules ya'll

Is She MAN enough for me?

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I totally heart Selma Blair, but not when she is more butch than I.

Sincerely,

The Gay

Source

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Tori Spelling is training for motherhood



Tori Spelling, you dumbass. If you do not know how to push a baby in a stroller, pushing a dog around in a stroller is not going to help you. No...I think you're pretty much beyond help if you need to practice pushing a stroller...I fear for the well being of your child already. Can you call CPS if the baby hasn't been born yet? Just as a heads up...

Monday, December 18, 2006

Same Old Dog Tricks

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Omg. What has the world come to? You can pay $135 for tickets to this New Years Bash. Or for thirty bucks more you can hang out with Tara Reid and watch her fall with your own eyes! The saddest part, it's not even the hottest party in Chicago. Sadly, how we fall into the D-List so easily.

Dear LiLo

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"They're all whores, they're all whores . . . xcept for some obviously! So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we're talkin' like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cunts now. . . I'm not gonna lie to ya."

Will someone please for the love of Allah, take away her blackberry and terminate her t-mobile account? LaLohan is allegedly learning these stripper moves for her next box office flop I Know Who Killed Me. Omg. I just cant handle this mess anymore.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

I Want Justin's Dick in A Box

Best Skits From Justin on SNL



Carmello Anthony bitch-slaps some dude on the Knicks!



Being from the Detroit area...I love a good basketball fight. Especially when the fight doesn't go into the stands (that being said...our fight was totally better...). The best parts about this are the fact that Carmello Anthony didn't punch anybody. He straight up bitch-slapped Knicks guard Mardy Colliins (0:59), the asshole who pretty much started the whole thing by committing the flagrant foul. I also really enjoy when Mardy Collins is running after Anthony, there is this little, white old man holding him back (:45). I think if he really wanted to fight Anthony, he could of shook off the old dude. And, he does kind of shake off the old dude. The little old man really tries to hang on, but grabs the wrong players foot(:50). "A" for effort!

Good, classic brawl. My opinion on this is, way to go Carmello. That is the only way to show Mardy Collins that getting beaten severly in a basketball game does not make it ok to put someone in a headlock. I think a bitch-slap was a completely appropriate response.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Isn't she lovely?



Liza Minnelli steps out in a look that I would absolutely go lesbot for. What I wouldn't do to just run my hands through her painted on eyebrows. Thanks TMZ! While I have the energy and initiative, why not do an afternoon round up!

TMZ is also reporting that Miss USA will be dethroned and replaced by the runner up: Someone who you don't care about. Good news, this Miss USA is black, which I am happy about. No reason, really. I just prefer my Miss USA's to be black.

Paris was dumped by Britney, and turns to Elisha Cuthbert as her new person she keeps around to tell her how "hot" she's being friend. Egotastic

So all the ladies can feel just a bit better about themselves, and for all the men in the world (especially you gay ones who are fixated on the female form, even though you don't want to bone it), even supermodels have some ass problems. Hollywood Tuna

And for some reason...the Courtney Love vag slip isn't causing quite a stir...A Socialite's Life

And, JT will be hosting Saturday Night Live this Saturday. Not bringing sexyback, but maybe bringing a beegee's skit back? BWE

Thursday, December 14, 2006


Yuck. It looks like she's trying to hide a labotomy scar.

The Gay's Better Picks for Golden Globes.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
· Ben Affleck, "Hollywoodland"
· Eddie Murphy, "Dreamgirls"
· Jack Nicholson, "The Departed"
· Brad Pitt, "Babel"
· Mark Wahlberg, "The Departed"

The Departed was so good for so many reasons, even if it is a remake of a chinese film. The movie worked on so many levels and was tscha you know what? Entertaining. Jack will definetly get recognized for his amazing role. Girl one yous dumb, you just want marky mark and the funky bunch.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
· Adriana Barraza, "Babel"
· Cate Blanchett, "Notes on a Scandal"
· Emily Blunt, "The Devil Wears Prada"
· Jennifer Hudson, "Dreamgirls"
· Rinko Kikuchi, "Babel"

Hopefully J. Hud can ride the way and win the popular vote. If Dreamgirls isn't just another overhyped publicity machine, she may just do that. So often movies just don't match the public's expectations and fall flat on they face.

Best Foreign Language Film
· "Volver"
· "Pan's Labyrinth"
· "Apocalypto"
· "Letters From Iwo Jima"

I totally hate hate Penelope Cruz. But i've heard so many good things about this film. Pan's Labyrinth looks freakishly nightmarish and I'll get off Mel Gibson's cock just as soon as I get off his payroll.

Best Animated Film
· "Cars"
· "Happy Feet"
· "Monster House"

Cars was boooring.

Best Motion Picture - Drama
· Babel
· Bobby
· The Departed
· Little Children
· The Queen

The Departed shall win cuz it totally rules. Babel was boring, Little Children was good, but too weird to be a best picture. The Queen and Bobby will split the politico vote haha i'm talkin shit.

Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
· Borat
· The Devil Wears Prada
· Dreamgirls
· Little Miss Sunshine
· Thank You for Smoking

Borat should win. The Devil Wears Prada was more drama. Fuck a Dreamgirls, I hate this movie just because all my friends want to like it hahaha

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
· Leonardo DiCaprio - "Blood Diamond"
· Leonardo DiCaprio - "The Departed"
· Peter O'Toole - "Venus"
· Will Smith - "The Pursuit of Happyness"
· Forest Whitaker - "The Last King of Scotland"

Leo deserves to win for this movie. It rocked my shit.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
· Penelope Cruz - "Volver"
· Judi Dench - "Notes on a Scandal"
· Maggie Gyllenhaal - "Sherry Baby"
· Helen Mirren - "The Queen"
· Kate Winslet- "Little Children"

Hands down, Helen Mirren. Everybody is lauding her for the amazing portrayal.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
· Sascha Baron Cohen - "Borat"
· Johnny Depp - "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"
· Aaron Eckhart - "Thank You for Smoking"
· Chiwetel Ejiofor - "Kinky Boots"
· Will Ferrell- "Stranger Than Fiction"

He deserves the win. He duped all those dumb Americans haha I love being British like Madonna.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
· Annette Bening - "Running with Scissors"
· Toni Collette - "Little Miss Sunshine"
· Beyonce Knowles - "Dreamgirls"
· Meryl Streep - "The Devil Wears Prada"
· Renee Zellweger - "Miss Potter"

They Just Wanna give awards to Meryl Streep. This movie was waaay cuute. Annette Benning was amazin' in Running with Scissors. She played a crazed matronly lezbot to the T. Loves It. Hates It. Bad Shoes. Good Shoes. Bitch.

Best Director - Motion Picture
· Clint Eastwood - "Flags of our Fathers"
· Clint Eastwood - "Letters From Iwo Jima"
· Stephen Frears - "The Queen"
· Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu - "Babel"
· Martin Scorsese - "The Departed"

The Departed is sweet squared.

Best Television Series - Drama
· 24
· Big Love
· Grey's Anatomy
· Heroes
· Lost

Je deteste Grey's Anatomy. Heroes totally rules. Save the cheerleader, save the world.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
· Patricia Arquette - "Medium"
· Edie Falco - "The Sopranos"
· Evangeline Lilly - "Lost"
· Ellen Pompeo - "Grey's Anatomy"
· Kyra Sedgwick - "The Closer"

I hate Ellen Pompeo, but i want to have more wins than Girl #1.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
· Patrick Dempsey - "Grey's Anatomy"
· Michael C. Hall - "Dexter"
· Hugh Laurie - "House"
· Bill Paxton - "Big Love"
· Kiefer Sutherland - "24"

Kiefer is hot. Patrick Dempsey is not the show. Its more of an ensemble cast. FuckaGrey's Anatomy.

Best Television Series - Comedy or Musical
· Desperate Housewives
· Entourage
· The Office
· Ugly Betty
· Weeds

Eh. Entourage love love. Weeds love love. Ugly Betty, while ya'll expect me to be watching this, I don't. I think it kinda sucks. The Office just because.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Comedy
· Marcia Cross - "Desperate Housewives"
· America Ferrera - "Ugly Betty"
· Felicity Huffman - "Desperate Housewives"
· Julia Louis-Dreyfus- "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
· Mary-Louise Parker - "Weeds"

She's awesome. This show is so addicting.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Comedy
· Alec Baldwin - "30 Rock"
· Zach Braff - "Scrubs"
· Steve Carrell - "The Office"
· Jason Lee - "My Name is Earl"
· Tony Shalhoub -"Monk"

Boo!

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What the hell. Are we in kindergarten again? Are we playing an updated version of Hide and Seek? I will never understand the underfed by choice. That's Nicole Richie after her alleged "sushi lunch."

Girl #2's opinions, not predictions. (Suck it, Beyonce)

Keep in mind... These are not predictions. Because I have not seen all of the movies, and I am terrible at predicting just about anything.

Best Motion Picture: Drama:
BABEL
BOBBY
THE DEPARTED
LITTLE CHILDREN
THE QUEEN

THIS MOVIE RULED SO HARD.

Best Performance by an actress in a motion picture: Drama

PENELOPE CRUZ : VOLVER
JUDI DENCH : NOTES ON A SCANDAL
MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL : SHERRYBABY

HELEN MIRREN : THE QUEEN
KATE WINSLET : LITTLE CHILDREN


I probably shouldn't even say anything about this category, seeing that I haven't seen any of the movies. But I just love Maggie.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE - DRAMA

LEONARDO DICAPRIO : BLOOD DIAMOND
LEONARDO DICAPRIO : THE DEPARTED
PETER O'TOOLE : VENUS
WILL SMITH : THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
FOREST WHITAKER : THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

Girl #2 is probably right with her Peter O'Toole prediction. Leo's vote will be split, but I just loved him in the Departed. I just loved the Departed, though, so maybe my judgement is swayed. And also, I dislike Will Smith and movies that make me sob like a five-year-old, so the Pursuit of Happyness can suck it.

BEST MOTION PICTURE - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
DREAMGIRLS
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
THANK YOU FOR SMOKING


Please? Please, can't you just allow Borat to win all the awards it possibly can? Please? I know Dreamgirls will probably win, and I guess I can't bad mouth it because I haven't seen it yet, but... I am POSITIVE Dreamgirls won't make me laugh so hard that my face hurts and I have a painful cramp in my side, and therefore, it's just not going to compare to Borat.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

ANNETTE BENING : RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
TONI COLLETTE : LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
BEYONCE KNOWLES :DREAMGIRLS
MERYL STREEP : THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
RENEE ZELLWEGER : MISS POTTER

All I have to say is... F*** BEYONCE, I love Meryl. I wish I was related to Meryl. I wish she was at least my godmother. I wish she and I could walk around New York together while she gave me advice on life and love. Oh yeah, and I saw this movie three times in the theatre, and for a college girl on a budget, that really means something.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

SACHA BARON COHEN: BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
JOHNNY DEPP : PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
AARON ECKHART : THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
CHIWETEL EJIOFOR : KINKY BOOTS
WILL FERRELL : STRANGER THAN FICTION


Who is the Academy kidding? Johnny Depp: played out pirate Disney role. Aaron Eckhart: mediocre movie, mediocre performance. Chiwetel Ejiofor: who? what? gesundheit? Will Ferrell: interesting enough, but award winning? BORAT: This man didn't shower for weeks, peed on Trump Towers, humiliated himself, wrestled a fat man in the nude, rode around in an ice cream truck with a bear, put a bag over Pamela Anderson's head, and was sued at least three times. . . all for our entertainment, and also, in the end, promoting tolerance of other races in religions in the most ridiculous way possible. How could there be any questions here? How? Borat hands down.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

ADRIANA BARRAZA : BABEL
CATE BLANCHETT : NOTES ON A SCANDAL
EMILY BLUNT : THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
JENNIFER HUDSON : DREAMGIRLS
RINKO KIKUCHI : BABEL

Meh, whatever, I hear she's "fierce".

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE

BEN AFFLECK : HOLLYWOODLAND
EDDIE MURPHY : DREAMGIRLS
JACK NICHOLSON : THE DEPARTED
BRAD PITT : BABEL
MARK WAHLBERG : THE DEPARTED

The man is a legend. The man also sat in an adult movie theatre with a shiny black strap-on, just to make my life complete. The man threw cocaine in the air and onto a hookers tits as he uttered "want some coke?", just so we KNEW that he was a legend. And also, it's Jack fucking Nicholson.


BEST DIRECTOR - MOTION PICTURE

CLINT EASTWOOD : FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS
CLINT EASTWOOD : LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
STEPHEN FREARS : THE QUEEN
ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ IÑÁRRITU :BABEL
MARTIN SCORSESE : THE DEPARTED

There should be one nominee in this category. They shouldn't have even bothered getting any one's hopes up. In fact, they should probably just mail him the award right now.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

24
BIG LOVE
GREY'S ANATOMY

HEROES
LOST

I love this show. This show makes my life easier. This show gives me something to look forward to during endless classes and 9 hour shifts at the mall. And yeah, Girl #1 is right. Heroes is for the gays.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

PATRICIA ARQUETTE : MEDIUM
EDIE FALCO : THE SOPRANOS
EVANGELINE LILLY : LOST
ELLEN POMPEO : GREY'S ANATOMY
KYRA SEDGWICK : THE CLOSER

She may be squinty, but she plays the "surgical intern with a chief of surgery that had an affair with her mom, who now as alzheimers, and the boyfriend who turns out to be her boss and then turns out to be married, and leaves her for his wife who also happens to be her boss and comes back to her and then leaves her and then comes back to her, and the dad that left because of her mother who now has alzheimers and the chief of surgery, and the sister that doesn't even know she exists but often visits the hospital due to her pregnancy" very, very well.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

PATRICK DEMPSEY : GREY'S ANATOMY

MICHAEL C. HALL : DEXTER
HUGH LAURIE : HOUSE
BILL PAXTON : BIG LOVE
KIEFER SUTHERLAND : 24

He plays the "disgruntled but charming brain surgeon with the wife that cheated on him with his best friend, causing him to move away, causing him to sleep with a girl he meets at a bar, who turns out to be one of his interns at the hospital he's starting work at, who he then dates and then leaves for his wife the pediatric surgeon who cheated on him, and then cheats on with his exgirlfriend/intern, who he then leaves, and gets back together with later after his best friend who slept with his wife comes to work at the hospital that he works at, all the while performing brain surgery on his chief of surgery, and his best friend/nemesis" very, very well.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
ENTOURAGE
THE OFFICE
UGLY BETTY
WEEDS


This show is so well written and so well thought out and entertaining and dramatic and everything that Entourage isn't and should be. Oh, and the acting is superb, the dialogue is realistic and every bit as hilarious as every Ugly Betty episode and every Desperate Housewives episode combined. The Office is pretty good though.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES -COMEDY OR MUSICAL

MARCIA CROSS : DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
AMERICA FERRERA : UGLY BETTY
FELICITY HUFFMAN : DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS : THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
MARY-LOUISE PARKER : WEEDS


Again, acting/dialogue superb. She is amazingly subdued and likeable in a role that any other actress would take over the top and make hateable.



BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

ALEC BALDWIN : 30 ROCK
ZACH BRAFF : SCRUBS
STEVE CARRELL : THE OFFICE
JASON LEE : MY NAME IS EARL
TONY SHALHOUB : MONK

As long as Zach Braff doesn't win, I don't care.


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

EMILY BLUNT : GIDEON'S DAUGHTER
TONI COLLETTE : TSUNAMI, THE AFTERMATH
KATHERINE HEIGL : GREY'S ANATOMY
SARAH PAULSON : STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP
ELIZABETH PERKINS : WEEDS

Ahhhhh... the scene where she finds her fiance, Denny, dead after she went to extreme lengths to get him a new heart makes me SOB, literally. Every single time I watch it, I cry like a baby. She is so moving. I can't even get over how far she's come since "My Father the Hero". But I do have to say, Elizabeth Perkins deserves it just as much as Katherine.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

THOMAS HADEN CHURCH : BROKEN TRAIL
JEREMY IRONS : ELIZABETH I
JUSTIN KIRK : WEEDS
MASI OKA : HEROES
JEREMY PIVEN : ENTEOURAGE

America, watch out for this guy. Seriously. Justin Kirk is the most amazing actor I've noticed in a long time. He delivers long, complicated dialogue with ease and some how makes it the funniest thing you've ever heard that you can't repeat. Every word that comes out of his mouth puts Jeremy Piven to shame, and I LOVE Jeremy Piven.

Well that's it I guess. I cut out a lot of the categories because they made me bored. I hope people read this, seeing as it took me half an hour to write. But I guess, I don't care, it gave me something to do while I nursed my hangover.

BEHOLD!...A baby that is clearly not as impressive as Shiloh



Here is Heidi Klum with Seal and their new baby Johan. Um...I already saw the most beautiful and perfect baby known to man this week. Her name is Shiloh, and I've already forgotten what's-his-name above. Klum & Co. should have picked a better week to debut their baby...

Source

Girl #1: Confessions



TMZ reports that The World's First Supermodel Janice Dickinson was struck by a hit and run driver Tuesday night. Janice was thrown headfirst into the windshield and suffered a concussion. BUT, rest assured, she will fully recover just in time for the premire of the second season of her show, "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency".

I, Girl #1, have a confession to make. I was totally riding the crimson wave, and my cramps were BUG-GIN! You know how that is ladies...am I right??? Awww Guuurrrll, So I totally popped a Vicodin and smoked a whole lot a weed, just like the celebrities do. And I think I may have, quite possibly, hit Janice Dickinson on Tuesday. I"m not quite sure exactly how this is possible, as I am in Detroit, and she is in L.A.. However, judging by the insanely high level of annoyance caused by hearing anything Janice Dickinson says, or just seeing her picture online...I'm willing to bet that an out of body experience is possible, as long as that experience was created to inflict pain and suffering on one Janice Dickinson.

So lock me up, fuzz! I did it. I busted up Janice's head! I wonder if I'll serve jail time? Maybe me and Nicole Richie can be cellmates!

Angelina feeds child bugs



This time, the title of this post is not a witty statement...it is true! On a recent trip to Cambodia, Angelina and Maddox feasted on a plate of crickets, a delicacy in the Asian country. I'm all for the cultural experience that these kids are getting, but...bugs???!!! My roommate keeps talking about how she will one day cook the bugs she has kept in our freezer and feed them to us. I said, "I will fucking kill you if you bring any one of those bugs near my trap". Rachel Jean Disipio, I love you (and Happy Birthday on Friday!), but there is no way I'm eating a bug. You can keep them in the freezer, but I won't eat them. So, Angelina, take a lesson from me. For once, I can teach YOU something! Don't feed your kids bugs, man. Seriously...delicacy or not...why would you do that?

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64th Golden Globe Nominations!

Hear ye! Hear ye! Witness the greatest acting of all 2006! My choices for winner are in bold:

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
· Ben Affleck, "Hollywoodland"
· Eddie Murphy, "Dreamgirls"
· Jack Nicholson, "The Departed"
· Brad Pitt, "Babel"
· Mark Wahlberg, "The Departed"

I love Mark Wahlberg, and The Departed was one of the best movies to come from Scorsese, but more specifically, Hollywood in general, in a long time. I have not seen Dreamgirls, but that will not stop me from picking others from the movie to win in their categories. And, I have not seen Hollywoodland, but come on...Ben Affleck is not going to win.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
· Adriana Barraza, "Babel"
· Cate Blanchett, "Notes on a Scandal"
· Emily Blunt, "The Devil Wears Prada"
· Jennifer Hudson, "Dreamgirls"
· Rinko Kikuchi, "Babel"

I'm really surprised that Babel is taking so many nominations. I saw that movie, and I really wasn't that impressed, especially compared to Alejandro González Iñárritu's other films, specifically Amores Perros. I think a lot of people will be skeptical that Jennifer Hudson will win, because it is her first role. But her performance has so much buzz, I really think she is the only front-runner in this category, unless the Hollywood Foreign Press wants to be lame and obvious, like usual, and pick Cate Blanchett. We will see.

Best Foreign Language Film
· "Volver"
· "Pan's Labyrinth"
· "Apocalypto"
· "Letters From Iwo Jima"

Haven't seen any of these yet. But two things struck me immediately. Letters from Iwo Jima is a foreign film? What the hell? News to me! And secondly, Hollywood Foreign Press, and the rest of Hollywood too, please get off Mel Gibson's cock. Seriously. This fucker should be forever banned from the public eye, and making movies period. How he continues to make movies is beyond me. I hope he shows up, and I hope he is tanked. I secretly hope he wins, and if so I definitely hope he makes a drunken ass of himself, again.

Best Animated Film
· "Cars"
· "Happy Feet"
· "Monster House"

Nope. Haven't seen any of the animated movies this year either. Happy Feet looks cute, and people seem to like it, so it gets my pick to win.

Best Motion Picture - Drama
· Babel
· Bobby
· The Departed
· Little Children
· The Queen

I keep picking The Departed, because if it doesn't win, I truly will give up on Hollywood. Ok...not true. But, there is a clear winner in this category, in my mind.

Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical
· Borat
· The Devil Wears Prada
· Dreamgirls
· Little Miss Sunshine
· Thank You for Smoking

YESSSSSS! Although Borat will unfortunately lose to Dreamgirls, Borat was nominated for a Best Picture Golden Globe!!!!!!!! That rules. I wonder if Sasha Baron Cohen will go as himself, or Borat. I think he'll go as himself, because if I was his wifey-to-be, I'd be pissed if I couldn't go to the Golden Globes because my fiancé was going to be Borat, AGAIN. Do it for the lady, Sasha.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
· Leonardo DiCaprio - "Blood Diamond"
· Leonardo DiCaprio - "The Departed"
· Peter O'Toole - "Venus"
· Will Smith - "The Pursuit of Happyness"
· Forest Whitaker - "The Last King of Scotland"

I don't even know what Venus is. Never heard of it...ever. Not even a little bit. But here's how this one will go down. Leo will split his own vote. Will Smith and Forest Whitaker will split the "token black person" vote. Which leaves us with Peter O'Toole, who would probably win anyway, because these old Foreign Press folk love them some O'Toole.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
· Penelope Cruz - "Volver"
· Judi Dench - "Notes on a Scandal"
· Maggie Gyllenhaal - "Sherry Baby"
· Helen Mirren - "The Queen"
· Kate Winslet- "Little Children"

This is a tough one. Normally, I would say that Dench, Mirren, and Winslet would split their token British person vote, but there has been so much talk about Helen Mirren that I think she is a shoe in. Plus she is playing the ultimate British woman. I can't wait to see Volver, and Sherry Baby.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
· Sasha Baron Cohen - "Borat"
· Johnny Depp - "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"
· Aaron Eckhart - "Thank You for Smoking"
· Chiwetel Ejiofor - "Kinky Boots"
· Will Ferrell- "Stranger Than Fiction"

This is why I always lose my Oscar pools. I usually am pretty good with sticking to who I think the Academy, or Foreign Press, would pick...but I always slip in one that I just really really REALLY want to win. Maybe he has a chance?

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
· Annette Bening - "Running with Scissors"
· Toni Collette - "Little Miss Sunshine"
· Beyonce Knowles - "Dreamgirls"
· Meryl Streep - "The Devil Wears Prada"
· Renee Zellweger - "Miss Potter"

First, we finally can see how far Matthew and Tina Knowles can really reach. Beyonce????? Really??? I mean, I haven't seen it, and I'm sure she's good. But the only thing I've heard is how it doesn't compare to Jennifer Hudson. Oh well, she won't win so it doesn't really matter. Will Annette Bening win, since her husband, Warren Beatty, is getting the Cecil B. Demile award? I don't know...she just won in 2004, so maybe it is too soon for Annette Bening. I think they are gonna stick to the usual, and give Meryl Streep yet another award to add to her growing army of little gold men with little gold balls.

Best Director - Motion Picture
· Clint Eastwood - "Flags of our Fathers"
· Clint Eastwood - "Letters From Iwo Jima"
· Stephen Frears - "The Queen"
· Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu - "Babel"
· Martin Scorsese - "The Departed"

The Departed is sweet.

Best Television Series - Drama
· 24
· Big Love
· Grey's Anatomy
· Heroes
· Lost

24 always wins, with the exception of last year. Lost wasn't as much of a hit, so I'm praying that 24 will beat out Grey's simply because I really really hate Grey's Anatomy. And I have to apologize to The Gay, and all gays I guess while I'm at it...Apparently my sweeping statement that "Only gays watch Heroes" was incorrect. Apparently the Hollywood Foreign Press watches it too...unless they are all gay. In that case, please strike my apology from the record.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
· Patricia Arquette - "Medium"
· Edie Falco - "The Sopranos"
· Evangeline Lilly - "Lost"
· Ellen Pompeo - "Grey's Anatomy"
· Kyra Sedgwick - "The Closer"

EWWWWWW - I kinda hate all of these. Most of all, because I think Ellen Pompeo's stupid face is going to win. I'm gonna pick Kyra Sedgwick and hope that I don't have to see Ellen Pompeo's squinty face on my TV accepting her award. Man...Renee Zellwegger is going to be at the awards too! That's two too many squinty faces at an awards show for me.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
· Patrick Dempsey - "Grey's Anatomy"
· Michael C. Hall - "Dexter"
· Hugh Laurie - "House"
· Bill Paxton - "Big Love"
· Kiefer Sutherland - "24"

I am happy to see both Bill Paxton and Michael C. Hall nominated. Patrick "Dr. McNotReallyThatSteamyIGuessIDon'tGetWhatTheAttractionIs" Dempsey will probably win, as I fear that this will be the year for Grey's at the Golden Globes. I'll take Kiefer Sutherland for the block, please.

Best Television Series - Comedy or Musical
· Desperate Housewives
· Entourage
· The Office
· Ugly Betty
· Weeds

I was hesitant to watch the American version of The Office for a long time, as I loved the British version oh so much. If you are still on the same fence, let me say this. GET OFF THE FENCE. GET OFF THE GOD BLESSIN' FENCE! The American version rules equally as much as the British version.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Comedy
· Marcia Cross - "Desperate Housewives"
· America Ferrera - "Ugly Betty"
· Felicity Huffman - "Desperate Housewives"
· Julia Louis-Dreyfus- "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
· Mary-Louise Parker - "Weeds"

Ok. She's not gonna win. But I really don't care who wins in this category...so I know it's a little early (depending on when you're reading this), but I'm just gonna go ahead and GO NUTS! WHOOOOO! FEELS GOOD TO VOTE FOR AMERICA! *ahem* That is all.

And Finally:

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Comedy
· Alec Baldwin - "30 Rock"
· Zach Braff - "Scrubs"
· Steve Carrell - "The Office"
· Jason Lee - "My Name is Earl"
· Tony Shalhoub -"Monk"

30 Rock is a really funny show, and Alec Baldwin is great in it. You should watch this show. Scrubs is an insanely brilliant show, and while I generally think that Zach Braff is an A-#1-Douchebag, he's good in the show. However, I think Scrubs should win some sort of ensemble, or I don't know...get nominated for Best Comedy??? It really is the entire cast that makes that show so great. If I have to see MUTHAFUCKIN TONY SHALHOUB win YET ANOTHER Golden Globe for some shitty show that is on USA...USA FOR GOD'S SAKE...I just may have a breakdown. Yes, that is how much I invest in award shows. I will have a nervous breakdown in Tony Shalhoub wins again. Take heed, Hollywood Foreign Press.

Thanks for sticking around for this ridiculously long post, friends! What are your thoughts? Please comment, as I love award season so, and want to share it with each and every one of you.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

They are dirty, they belong in the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video. That's all I have to say. I guess I'm not in a snarky sort of mood, blah blah blah.

Oh my god, I just had an epiphany when I tried to think of a title. It was going to be "Here they are now, entertainers." MAYBE THAT'S WHAT LINDSAY LOHAN IS GOING FOR? With her oversized flannel and leather and the drugs, "our entertainer" . It all just hit me. Crazy bitch thinks she is some Kurt Cobain reincarnate.

Video of the Day

I just love how their little arms wave in the air and magically the tree is beautiful. And I love Christmas time.

Busta Rhymes has strange... props?

"Busta Rhymes appeared in court yesterday (December 11) facing charges for criminal possession of a weapon, after a machete was found in his car in August.

Additionally, the Manhattan District Attorney's Office is already pursuing Busta Rhymes for assault and harassment charges which date back to August 12.

The rapper was accused of felony assault and harassment after police searched his vehicle and found a 10-inch blade.

Rhymes' lawyer Scott Leemon said the knife was "a prop" and did not warrant a criminal charge.

During an October hearing, judge Shawndya Simpson dropped the charges of possession of a weapon, however the District Attorney's Office filed a misdemeanour charge of criminal possession yesterday and the charges were reinstated.

The rapper is next set to appear in court on February 20."


Why the fuck does he need a machete for a prop? Why? How is this a reasonable explanation for a ten inch blade? What is he doing in his spare time? When did he come down with such a horrible case of ogre-face? Why do I care?

These are all valid questions.


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Scarlett Johansson makes me bored and jealous.

Scarlett is pretty. She's at private dinner to celebrate Les Perles de Chanel. There is just something so annoying about her. Maybe it's her boobs, or her perfect skin, or all of her money.

Bob Barker poses behind his birthday cake at CBS Studios. Barker turned 83 on Tuesday. 83 YEARS OLD. Sweet Christmas candy, that's f***ing old.

Britney...still got it!



Just when you thought Britney Spears was going to take a night off and maybe spend some quality time with her kids, she thankfully proves us wrong. Nothing spices up a slow day like squinting at Britney's see through lace turtlenecky-thing trying to see her nipples. And look at how delightfully wasted she is!!! That's our girl! One question: where is the black hair? My guess is that it was nice and easy, the wash out kind, or hopefully the spray on kind that is just sort of fading now. But forget about the hair...she's spilling on herself while taking it to the streets! Keep it up girl! You still got it! (We at TGG are not quite sure what "it" is exactly, but...she definitely has got something. Crabs?)




X17 -- More Pictures

Gwen thinks child is a bear





Gwen, putting your child in a bear costume once is cute. Doing it more than once is just plain silly. Don't you buy baby Kingston normal clothes??? Stop dressing your child like an asshole.